in a mad world, only the mad are sane
Tirzah weaved back and forth, never really standing still. Even in the shadows she was anxious. She knew that if she lost herself in the darkness of her mind bad things would happen. Memories flooded her mind of times she came out of the blank spaces. Blood, there was always so much blood. The images haunted her. She would never escape them. No matter how deeply she hid in the shadows the red stained was there. The shadows were a haven, a haven from others- a haven to keep anything that could trigger her away. The shadows were the sanctuary of her broken mind. However, here in the field there are others. Others that come to the shadows others that threaten her peace. In the in-between lands here shadows are here, no one looks in the shadows while the travel on the well-worn paths between kingdoms. But not in the field, the sanctuary doors were open, and nothing, no one was safe.
She hadn’t been looking for companionship. Others are triggers, others end up making her slip, and others end up as pools of blood. Blood, so much blood. The reddish mare shrunk away as she smelled a new scent enter, she hoped he wouldn’t come. But of course he did, she knew of the meadow even though she had avoided it. The males always came, claimed, and sometimes raped. She hoped he wasn’t forceful. She hoped he would not trigger the blackness….she hoped.
It hadn’t been but another moment when the large stallion approached her- tall, proper, dark. Tirzah sniffed at the air, sensing something off. She knew not yet what was off- but there was something off. She shrunk back again from him, he was too proper, too correct. It didn’t fit- there was something wrong. But she couldn’t stop him from speaking- she couldn’t keep him from addressing her so his words fell upon her ears just the same. She twitched like the words physically harmed herm, calmed her weaving, though it did not stop completely and let her own voice ring out. For how reserved into herself her tone was light, elegant, and feminine, though her words did not fall so nicely. The words were jaunted, fragmented, and broken like her mind. Tirzah. Not a lady, too broken. Summer? Yes yes, summer, real. Too proper, Kakó, wrong.
Whether Kakó meant any threat she was nervous and something didn’t feel right, no matter the reality. When her emotions heightened she found the blackness came easier- that she lost her hold. And just like all those times she felt the slip, the stumble; darkness was threatening. Blood, so much blood! But she was saved, but a single word ”Real.” She wasn’t quite sure where it came from because she had shut her eyes tight and turned away as if that would protect herself from her own fractured mind. When the word sunk into her mind she slowly looked back. Real, this was real, just an introduction- no threat, yet. Tirzah opened her curled neck and looked for the source. It hadn’t sounded like the too proper Kakó, but a sentence or two is hard to determine every variation of a voice. Her eyes fell on another. Darkness, like shadows, like home- her sanctuary. While she was still weary of the attention of the closeness, she reached out with her chestnut nose, just a little, as if she would feel the cool touch of the darkness that are the shadows. He speaks a single word a question to the newcomer, ”Real?” It was a breathy question, soft and seeking. Seeking truth, seeking safety, seeking understanding. She had never seen a horse that embodied the darkness that was her sanctuary. For whatever reason she was glad he was here, he balanced the uncertainty of the tall Kakó, who seemed to hide behind propriety.
Tarizah was not sure what would happen, but at least the blackness was at bay...for now
tirzah