as your love starts to surround you
all of their words are trying to drown you
Pyxis was exhausted. Exhausted in a way that she has never experienced before. From the toil of the quest to the run-in with Daemron, she had been completely tapped dry. She had run from him—would always run from him, it seemed—but it had not taken her long to notice that Red had been on her tail. At first, she had simply ignored the wolf, doubling back on her path and curving through trees, hoping that she would lose her, but it had been ultimately futile. Truthfully, she had always known that it would be futile.
Eventually, she had simply accepted Red’s company, appreciated it in the deepest caverns of her hearts because it felt like a connection to Daemron that did not necessarily signify her own weakness. Finally, she had come to a clearing and her legs had buckled, body not gently dropping but coming to the ground with a harsh thud. Her breath had escaped from her lungs, and she had let sleep claim her violently.
The last thing she had seen was Red walking near her and sitting, standing guard over the night.
Pyxis is not sure how long she had slept for, only that when she had woken up, she had been ravenous and Red had not been pleased. As soon as the wolf had confirmed that she was conscious enough to take care of herself, she had slipped away into the underbrush, returning several hours later with a belly that was noticeably more full and a much less dangerous glint in her eye. During that time, Pyxis had managed to gather her wits enough to find water, eat a few bites of the sweet grass, and then lie down.
Even though she had spent hours (days?) asleep, exhaustion still pulled dangerously at her, and she could not help but slip back into it—closing her eyes as soon as Red found her spot and became comfortable.
***
This pattern continued for several more cycles before she finally forced herself out of it, standing on legs that felt weak and shaky and just nodding at the wolf. “Well, we certainly can’t have this continue—can we, Red?” The words felt reminiscent of her old self, but she felt hollowed and ultimately fraudulent. But, then again, everything that she did was fraudulent. Hadn’t she proven that with Daemron?
His name sears across the back of her mind, and she winces, feeling the painful clenching of her heart in her chest as she thinks about his silvery gaze and the fronds wrapping around his face. Shaking her head, she frowns, before she straightens and then makes her way closer to the center of the meadow with Red by her side. Hopefully, she would find conversation that was light and bubbly and made her whole.
Please. Let her feel alive again.
and you break, it's too late for you to fall apart
and the blame that you claim is all your own fault
