il ya seulement l'obscurité; magnus only

[magnus]

you and I both know that the house is haunted
and you and I both know that the ghost is me

If she though that he had not noticed the demons that haunt her sleep, she was wrong. Magnus knew all about demons. It was his very demons that had led to him watching her whimper and clench her teeth when she thought no one was watching; it was these demons that caused him to wander around the kingdom every night instead of sleeping like he should. Sleep eluded him. It always had, and although he had hoped he would escape his insomnia in this life, he was not so lucky. Even now, he did not rest well.

He had been giving her space, time to acquaint herself to the kingdom, to this new life, but he had not just abandoned her. He watched her from afar, when he wandered the borders. He watched her from afar when he circled the land in the sky. He watched her as he walked amongst the sleeping residents at night. He watched her and worried for her, and did what he could: keep her safe. Ensure Gryffen did not find her.

The small, subtle ways that he could protect her and her family.

But today, he did not stay afar. Instead, he tucked his wings close to his sides and wandered toward her, his mouth tight and gold-flecked eyes burning with concern. “Minette,” he says in his low voice, the husk familiar, but the sound strained with emotion. He does not touch her although he burns to make sure that she is safe; instead, he stops several feet away, dropping his head a little in greeting, ears swiveling.

Magnus does not bother to ask her how she has been—he knows. He does not burden her with the weight of idle chatter. Instead, he just breathes deeply. “You know, I don’t think I ever told you my story.” His eyes are sad, his crooked smile brief. “Perhaps it is time that I did.” He feels the wind between them, and his heart grows cold in his chest, feeling every inch from himself to her, but he doesn’t close the distance.

Not yet.

“My parents are Atrox and Twinge, they were King and Queen of the Chamber and Amazons at the time of my birth. They were…ferocious. Their love was cruel. It was bright, but cruel. I grew up with my mother in the jungle—and I thought that I would stay there forever. I loved it. I still do.” He pauses for a second, thinking back to his childhood in the vines—the dangerous vines and screaming birds and his mother’s jaguar that had padded by his side for so many years. “But I went to the Chamber and served with my father for a time. I became their Lord. But, I met her—and everything changed.”

His eyes burn brighter at this part, but he had made a promise to open himself up to her, and he did not stop now. “Her name was Joelle, and she was the daughter of the Gates King. She was effervescent. She was kind, soft-spoken, gentle—everything I never deserved. But I loved her. More than I thought possible, and so I came to live here with her.” He motioned around the kingdom. “I never belonged here, but I thought I could for her. So I worked hard for her and her father. I fought and recruited and did everything I could for them. When her father stepped down, he handed the crown to Joelle and made me the General of the kingdom. Not too long after, Joelle asked for me to serve beside her as King.”

Magnus has never felt so vulnerable in his life, and he swallows before continuing. “It was like…wearing a skin that didn’t fit right. The land flourished, but I could never shake the feeling that I did not belong here. I wasn’t like the rest of the kingdom. I…hungered for the wrong things. I picked fights with the wrong people. I wanted war in a way that I shouldn’t. One day, I went to the beach and my brother, Makai, was there. He was stained with blood. There were two mares at his feet, and he was gleeful.” His stomach clenches at this thought, “I killed him. Right there. I didn’t meant to, but I lost my head.”

When his eyes open, they are bright with pain, “When I came back to the kingdom, I abdicated the throne. I left Joelle. I left our children. I left everything we had built together—and I ran to the Dale. I served them for a while, found a blood sister in Librette. Her and Katana helped me to right my head. They helped my find my feet, and eventually I went back to Joelle. We lived as citizens in the Gates before leaving because of political turmoil,” he glosses over this piece, not wanting to dive into the story of Spyglass and Everclear—the stallion from the Valley who came for a visit and stayed as king.

“But there was a stallion, Trashlip, who did not care for us. Who had a vendetta against us. One day, he found us,” his breathing is a little strained, heart twisting painfully, “and he killed us both. I could not protect her—could not protect myself. He murdered her before my eyes, and then I died on that beach.”

Silence falls over him for a second as he does his best to gather himself, drawing a few deep breaths. “Something brought me back. I don’t know what. It didn’t bring Joelle back. But I made a promise to myself that I would protect this land for her; I made a promise that I would protect the ones that I loved this time around—that I would not fail as I did before.” He shifts, wanting to slow the space between them, but not trusting she would want to be near him after all he had confessed.

“And then I found you and everything changed for me again.”

MAGNUS

once general. once lord. once king.