Back, but back where? There is no home, no love to be had or to be welcomed to. Sinder has no one, nothing. Since leaving the Desert he has been as fickle as the wind, nosing this way and that in his silence.
Children? There is one somewhere in Beqanna that he created with Noori.
(That bitch)
She was a whore.
(She toyed with you)
But I fucked her in the end.
The mother of spring dawns on his mind and he remembers their years together. There had been a connection, but it was more lust and possessiveness than anything else. Sinder, so quiet and stone-like, has never felt a need for love. As a child he watched it destroy his family and rip them apart. He saw as it sucked the final breath out of his father. It's more catastrophic than joyful, more unnecessary than needed. At such a young age Sinder swore it off and told himself to never be so weak as to fall in love.
(What is it you always say?)
Love does not exist.
(That's right. You keep telling yourself that)
Noori's memory is quickly dissolving as his eyes open to see the meadow. He wants to know someone, to recognize anything at all, but in the pit of his stomach he realizes that Smolder is gone. The twin that he had latched so tightly onto has slipped from him in the mere blink of an eye. Her face still rings in his memory but so does the putrid stench of the stallions that she frequented with. They didn't deserve her (no one did, only Sinder) and yet she bathed in their attention constantly. She must have wanted to be loved, to be adored, because her twin wasn't enough. He wanted her to himself (never to fuck, but to protect, to hold) but life was throwing rocks. Obstacles became too great and with a resonating sigh Sinder's grip of his twin released and he was truly alone.
Life wanted to remind him that he couldn't love her, that he couldn't love anyone or anything.
Alone, forever alone, but never lonely.
(No, never lonely)
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