show me your worst writing

[~Sapphire~]

Yas, I found my first BQ post ever. Good thing that the Den wasn't a too active board
But it really is cringe worthy.. Even the OOC is misspelled and there are some words missing... XD

Gràidh

One by one, small hooves are pulled from the ground up for the next pass to be put down again. Every pass seemed to cost more trouble than its predecessor and his head dropped closer to the ground. Gràidh was not very sturdy on his legs, but he was just a week old. If there wasn't anyone to worry about him, there wouldn't be much left of him. But that was not something the Irish Cob colt thought of, the only thing left was the question why he was left behind. That question was followed by the next, how could he still his hunger? The water he had found had no taste compared to its mother's milk, as did the grass. It was at the end of the second day he walked alone, without help he would not long endure. He walked around without even seeing where he went and he didn't care anymore. He was alone, abandoned, doomed to die.

When his legs under his small body trembled violently and he could no longer keep himself up, he let himself fall to the ground. With a soft thud he landed in the grass. Briefly slipped around his eyes, his dark ears pricked up, before his head lowered to the grass. He was too tired to continue, he would see what would happen further. Perhaps the end came quickly, perhaps it was destined for him long to suffer.


OCC: Uhm, that didn't go very wel.. This te first time I rpg in English, I'm trying hard, but it isn't very good I think..

And here is the link to the thread!
http://www.boards2go.com/boards/board.cgi?action=read&id=1307987899&user=beqannaadoption&page=4