11-03-2015, 11:37 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-03-2015, 11:53 PM by Kuna.
Edit Reason: added goodbyes
)
Kotaro’s been thinking about putting her life back together. The death of Peccatrice Dea was a hard hit on her – it still is, each and every day – but she’s spent far too many years mourning over the orange mare. Trissy has long since grown and flew from the nest, so to say, although the dark bay always knew her daughter is just as independent as her mothers. She is alone, as she often finds herself, but she hopes to not be for long.
The past years – she’s lost count of how many, exactly – have flown by in a blur of memories and abandoned corners of Beqanna and hazy nightmares tangled with daydreams. Memories (Peccatrice Dea celebrating her return in less-than formal ways, Peccatrice Dea aiding her in the mutiny by Cassiah and Yours, Peccatrice Dea’s insides scarring the Valley’s ground) and abandoned corners (spider-webbed forests, oasis’ in the crevasses where no one would look, wide plains with no souls in sight) and nightmares tangled with daydreams (Germany’s face as a youngster, Trissy’s baby face at her birth, Peccatrice Dea’s slender touch, Konrad’s hopeful gaze, Guiltine’s strong embrace).
Kotaro finally decides to get her life together. Picking up the broken, shattered, hastily-sewn pieces and duct taping them together into something that might be equivalent to hope. It is all in vain – that hope. While she lingers around the meadow, mentally preparing herself to come in contact with another soul after years of living alone, so does another. She notices the bruised eyes watching her (after years of looking behind her back, after a queen’s rule under the threat of a mutiny, after agonizing nights spent roiling in pain – she has become finely attuned to watching those who watch her) within a couple of days. But she never expected those eyes to be as close as they are suddenly now.
She doesn’t have time to ask questions. There is only sudden, burning, intensifying pain. Every move she makes is one step closer to agony and eventually she becomes sane enough to stop moving. She becomes sane enough to let his teeth carve into her like a butcher knife to meat. Her sobs are silenced, her legs are immobilized, but her mind is kept alive and conscious and so incredibly aware of pain. It is indescribable and heart-stopping and thought-numbing. When she had her cursed wings, she thought every night was torture.
But torture is nothing compared to this.
Kotaro can only pray and hope that Peccatrice Dea might be at the end of this agony. She can only wonder if, when her eyes finally close, she will be able to be with the lover she thought she would never meet for an eternity. But the torture turns worse when he splits open her chest and her organs still work and function and keep her dreadfully, unfairly alive. The other presence isn’t noticed in the haze that is her mind. Not until his voice rings out – and the words are an aching relief to the fire of her agony.
With his mouth buried in her ribcage, she finally races toward the sweet embrace of death.
---
Peccatrice Dea: Oh my sweets. How long have we both waited for this moment? I have waited an eternity to be with you and now we have an eternity and a day to be together… I’ve missed you. Hello, dear heart.
Deutschland: I’m sorry I wasn’t a better mother to you. You deserve better. I only hope you will do better in this world than I did.
Trissy: I am so, so sorry you never met your mother. Please, if you can, pay us a visit. Thank you for growing up strong. I see myself in you every day. I love you.
Nera: I hope I was what you expected me to be for the Valley.
Marna: Wherever you are, I hope you are happy.
Konrad: I’m sorry I let you down. That was never my intention. You were a good friend in the end, although you could have been much more than that.
Cassiah: I hope you’re rotting somewhere pitiful, love.
Yours: You could have been so great. I had such high hopes for you…
Demian: Treat the Valley well. She has been through much. And with all of it, she has been my steadfast friend. Do not doubt in her; she will pull through. Believe me, I know.
To anyone else: Always be strong in your belief and self. Do not let anyone sway you. If you do, you will surely lose yourself.
The past years – she’s lost count of how many, exactly – have flown by in a blur of memories and abandoned corners of Beqanna and hazy nightmares tangled with daydreams. Memories (Peccatrice Dea celebrating her return in less-than formal ways, Peccatrice Dea aiding her in the mutiny by Cassiah and Yours, Peccatrice Dea’s insides scarring the Valley’s ground) and abandoned corners (spider-webbed forests, oasis’ in the crevasses where no one would look, wide plains with no souls in sight) and nightmares tangled with daydreams (Germany’s face as a youngster, Trissy’s baby face at her birth, Peccatrice Dea’s slender touch, Konrad’s hopeful gaze, Guiltine’s strong embrace).
Kotaro finally decides to get her life together. Picking up the broken, shattered, hastily-sewn pieces and duct taping them together into something that might be equivalent to hope. It is all in vain – that hope. While she lingers around the meadow, mentally preparing herself to come in contact with another soul after years of living alone, so does another. She notices the bruised eyes watching her (after years of looking behind her back, after a queen’s rule under the threat of a mutiny, after agonizing nights spent roiling in pain – she has become finely attuned to watching those who watch her) within a couple of days. But she never expected those eyes to be as close as they are suddenly now.
She doesn’t have time to ask questions. There is only sudden, burning, intensifying pain. Every move she makes is one step closer to agony and eventually she becomes sane enough to stop moving. She becomes sane enough to let his teeth carve into her like a butcher knife to meat. Her sobs are silenced, her legs are immobilized, but her mind is kept alive and conscious and so incredibly aware of pain. It is indescribable and heart-stopping and thought-numbing. When she had her cursed wings, she thought every night was torture.
But torture is nothing compared to this.
Kotaro can only pray and hope that Peccatrice Dea might be at the end of this agony. She can only wonder if, when her eyes finally close, she will be able to be with the lover she thought she would never meet for an eternity. But the torture turns worse when he splits open her chest and her organs still work and function and keep her dreadfully, unfairly alive. The other presence isn’t noticed in the haze that is her mind. Not until his voice rings out – and the words are an aching relief to the fire of her agony.
With his mouth buried in her ribcage, she finally races toward the sweet embrace of death.
---
HERE LIES...
Kotaro
Texas and Mammal
Once Queen of the Valley
Forever the lover of Peccatrice Dea
Mother to Deutschland and Trissy
Kotaro
Texas and Mammal
Once Queen of the Valley
Forever the lover of Peccatrice Dea
Mother to Deutschland and Trissy
Peccatrice Dea: Oh my sweets. How long have we both waited for this moment? I have waited an eternity to be with you and now we have an eternity and a day to be together… I’ve missed you. Hello, dear heart.
Deutschland: I’m sorry I wasn’t a better mother to you. You deserve better. I only hope you will do better in this world than I did.
Trissy: I am so, so sorry you never met your mother. Please, if you can, pay us a visit. Thank you for growing up strong. I see myself in you every day. I love you.
Nera: I hope I was what you expected me to be for the Valley.
Marna: Wherever you are, I hope you are happy.
Konrad: I’m sorry I let you down. That was never my intention. You were a good friend in the end, although you could have been much more than that.
Cassiah: I hope you’re rotting somewhere pitiful, love.
Yours: You could have been so great. I had such high hopes for you…
Demian: Treat the Valley well. She has been through much. And with all of it, she has been my steadfast friend. Do not doubt in her; she will pull through. Believe me, I know.
To anyone else: Always be strong in your belief and self. Do not let anyone sway you. If you do, you will surely lose yourself.