I have rarely wondered at Joscelin's cracks of light. With the simplicity of childhood I have accepted everything I see. My mother's horns, Joscelin's lightning fissures, Rhy's transformations; these are the way of the world. But now as she greets me, and I return her smile with one of my own, I wonder if perhaps there is more to this bay mare than I have assumed. I am beginning to realize that there were stories before my own began. I have been selfish in the way of most children, involved in a world that is brand new and teaching me every day, concerned with how it all affects my small sphere. I resolve to change that. I cannot put myself first if I am to make any difference in the jungle.
And oh, how I want to do that.
I have heard the rumors of war, of raids and the need to be vigilant. My youth will not save me if the time comes when our home is attacked, and I refuse to hold my mother back. She will need to concentrate on the jungle as a whole. An ill-equipped daughter is the last thing she needs.
I give Joscelin a troubled look, unsure of how to phrase my request. In the end I decide to just talk, letting the words tumble forth like a waterfall.
“I want to fight. I mean, I want to learn to fight, to take care of the jungle and mother and everyone. Not that mother needs taken care of, but I don't want her to worry about me. I thought maybe, well, you beat Killdare and he was awfully strong. D'you think you could train me? I know you're so busy. I didn't know who else to ask.”
I had thought of Rhy, briefly, but the mare intimidates me. We share a love of the Jungle and a desire to assist the Khaleesi, but she does not strike me as warm or forgiving if I should make mistakes. When I will make mistakes. I don't think I could admit those feelings out loud to anyone, though. I am quickly learning that growing up means keeping some thoughts to yourself.
It is strange for me, when I have been so used to simply saying what I think or feel. Navigating the world seems like such a large task.
I turn my attention back to Joscelin, and dip my head, adding with a pleading tone. “I know I'm awfully young, but I will do the best I can.”
Briefly it occurs to me that perhaps I should have spoken to my mother first, but I think she will understand and even approve. Lagertha admires strength and I want her to see that in me.
the jungle princess