fiasko
She can hear the boy stir, but she can’t bring herself to go to him, not yet. Not with those eyes. And she hates herself for it. She knows all too well what it’s like to be rejected and abandoned by a parent, and she had promised herself long ago that she would never do that to her own children. But those eyes …Caitlin, bless her heart, goes straight to the boy. Fiasko’s tears flow all the faster as she hears the girl comfort him - such a sweet, innocent thing. She cannot see it, but the boy responds, cocking his head to the side and studying his sister with cold curiosity.
A distinctly foreign and male scent reaches her, just as a voice rings out. She chokes on her tears, trying to force herself back under control. This is not the place for her to break down - the Chamber will eat her alive if she lets it. “I … I’m okay. I’m fine.”
Blinking away her tears, the greying male comes into focus. He genuinely seems concerned, much to her surprise. It’s rare to find compassion here. Caitlin asks after his eyes, and Fiasko’s own eye immediately swings up to see what she’s talking about. “Oh … oh I’m sorry. Caitlin sweetheart, it’s not terribly polite to ask about someone’s eyes like that.” She just hopes he doesn’t take offence.
And then another voice calls out, and her body goes cold. Straia. Not exactly someone she wants to see when she’s feeling so utterly broken and vulnerable.
But to her surprise, the raven queen apologizes and does not ridicule her, does not even make mention of the boy’s eyes. In fact, the look the queen gives her suggests without words that she would take the boy if Fiasko could not stand to raise him. It’s a small gesture and Fiasko is grateful for it. But she’d made a promise to herself.
She finally struggles to her feet and goes to the boy, whispering a subdued “thank you” to Straia before setting to work cleaning off the mess of birth. She will not abandon the boy, no matter who his father is, no matter how much it pains her. She pauses in her work and nods in thanks when Straia relays her news of the Gates. It’s some small comfort to know that her sacrifice had done at least something. That her kingdom will limp on. She just hopes her own weakness has not done too much damage.
The boy draws his legs under himself and Fiasko stumbles back, startled, as he lifts himself and stands with little struggle. Then with surprisingly steady steps, he heads right to her udder to drink. She feels a little unsettled - she’s never seen a foal collect themselves so quickly and so easily.
But she’s distracted from her discomfort when yet another voice calls out. One that she knows. She swings around, shocked to see Nadyah approaching them. She doesn’t know the mare well, having only just recently welcomed her to the kingdom, and it shocks her to see the roan here, of all places. Especially for the purpose that she claims. “Oh Nadyah … I … I appreciate that you came for me. But I made a deal, a deal for the Gates. If I stay here they will leave the Gates alone.” And they need the respite after all that’s happened. They cannot afford to be attacked again.
Fiasko glances from Straia to Nadyah, then back to Straia. A small proposal forms in her mind. It would benefit both her and Straia potentially. “Your majesty, I … I … might I have your leave to visit the Gates and let them know of our deal? It might prevent … visitors.” Unwanted visitors. Unwanted by Straia, Fiasko is sure, for the fuss they could cause, and unwanted by Fiasko for the gut-wrenching reminder of her own failures. They could both benefit. “I give you my word that I would return immediately. Caitlin and … the boy … can stay here as … insurance.” She hates bringing the poor girl into this (and knows that her daughter will not like it one bit), but she knows that Straia will need some sort of assurance of her return. And there’s no way that she would abandon her children here. Not even the boy.
i'm still waiting for the world to end