03-15-2026, 12:04 AM
Her magic weakens in the face of his whimpering and Beyza seethes as she feels it retract, her mask fracturing as a quiet "No" escapes her — directly purely at herself. There is undeniably a part of her that wants to burn brighter, who wants to send white fire after the would-be-Reaper and scorch his shadows out of Beqanna for good. It doesn't feel like it would be hard to convince herself that would even be for the better of all.
But that part can't outweigh how wrong it feels to make a child suffer. The morality of her magic weighs her down, dimming her light until she is as she is naturally. Just a faint white glow, strong against the shadows of the cave but not harsh or burning like it had been moments ago.
She snorts and looks away, briefly, examining the shapes and shadows of the rock walls. There is not a moment where Jamie does not have most of her attention, even in this moment of… reflection? shame? She's not even sure what she is currently feeling but she knows at any time, this farce of a foal could shift and then? Beyza had no idea what to expect, and she despised the uncertainty right down to her bones. So her guard would remain up, even when her magic wouldn't allow her to take certain actions.
Collecting herself, she tells the past-Jamie "I don't remember you ever apologizing to me." She can't recall, now, if there had been a reason to. Had she? Or had she just felt like she should, for being so bright? She can no longer tell the difference between the memories and what had stayed as thoughts inside of her mind. "Though you had little reason to when we were small. How I idolized you." There are far more complicated emotions, but Beyza keeps those thoughts inside. She'd wanted to save Jamie, wanted there to be a world where he could exist in her light and she felt safe in the shadows. And, of course, those two things could never truly exist in one space.
"Are you hurt?" The question is hard to get out through the clench in her jaw, and makes the marbled mare sound pained herself. She wrestles with all those boxes of emotions she has kept so carefully closed all these years, willing no more to open and for those who have snuck out to return to their hibernation. She must remain calm and collected from here on out. That was safest.
But that part can't outweigh how wrong it feels to make a child suffer. The morality of her magic weighs her down, dimming her light until she is as she is naturally. Just a faint white glow, strong against the shadows of the cave but not harsh or burning like it had been moments ago.
She snorts and looks away, briefly, examining the shapes and shadows of the rock walls. There is not a moment where Jamie does not have most of her attention, even in this moment of… reflection? shame? She's not even sure what she is currently feeling but she knows at any time, this farce of a foal could shift and then? Beyza had no idea what to expect, and she despised the uncertainty right down to her bones. So her guard would remain up, even when her magic wouldn't allow her to take certain actions.
Collecting herself, she tells the past-Jamie "I don't remember you ever apologizing to me." She can't recall, now, if there had been a reason to. Had she? Or had she just felt like she should, for being so bright? She can no longer tell the difference between the memories and what had stayed as thoughts inside of her mind. "Though you had little reason to when we were small. How I idolized you." There are far more complicated emotions, but Beyza keeps those thoughts inside. She'd wanted to save Jamie, wanted there to be a world where he could exist in her light and she felt safe in the shadows. And, of course, those two things could never truly exist in one space.
"Are you hurt?" The question is hard to get out through the clench in her jaw, and makes the marbled mare sound pained herself. She wrestles with all those boxes of emotions she has kept so carefully closed all these years, willing no more to open and for those who have snuck out to return to their hibernation. She must remain calm and collected from here on out. That was safest.
@
jamie