01-09-2026, 03:49 PM
i do it for the ho's
A more...cognizant individual would see this conversation for what it was; A dumb ass with a flair for dramatics, being subtly insulted by a puke green leech of a mare. But Layland isn't cognizant, at least when it comes to matters of insult. (How could they possibly insult him? He's *perfect*) In addition to his startling pink coat, the Gods also crafted him out of whatever substance they coat ducks with. Not literally, of course, because that would probably be a trait, but everything she says slides right off of him. While he doesn't know what either material is, he supposes he's probably rubber and she's glue. -insert shrug emoji here-
(Not literally glue, he's funny, not morbid for God's sake)
He's glad she agrees with earthy. He's running out of acronyms (is that the right word? He's not a grammar buff -shrug-) Her inquiry makes him smile though, and if he had a top hat he would grab it, swirl it, and then fold at the waist in a spectacular bow. He doesn't have the head for a hat though, but he still drops one dainty foreleg underneath of himself, his flaring nares pressed to the ground. "Why, pray tell, would I do ANYTHING else, when I prance and flounce so wonderfully?!" he says. Nay, he EXCLAIMS. SHE may be a stick in the mud (stagnant swamp mud at that) but HE is all THAT and more!
Her sour countance does nothing to dissuade him. Call it blissful ignorance maybe? Or just plain ignorance is probably fine too. Layland has never let a bish piss in his cheerios, and he doesn't intend to uncover his bowl now!
She does, however, commit her first mistake. You see, Layland has of course noticed how quiet Beqanna is nowadays. He has made some effort to be noisey, but clearly, it hasn't been enough. But now that Mrs. Earthy Swamp Puke herself has spoken, he decides right here and meow to take it from a 3 clear up to a 10. Max volume. Wide open. Skinny pedal MASHED.
"It IS!" he gushes, beginning to circle her as an idea forms in his pea brain. "Whadda ya say you and I make some noise?! Annoy the locals. Shake the dust off! Do you happen to know any songs? Besides being a Specimen, I'm also something of a songster. Everyone says so." he says with a shrug and a smile. Balancing on the very tips of his flints, he waits for her response.
(He's literally a liar. He's never sang, and if he had, everyone would probably tell him to STFU before they called in Carnage to curse him into oblivion.)
layland
@Krieg