Assailant
Casimira is spot-on in differentiating him from those that are motivated by the fear of never reaching the heights of fame, or the depths of infamy, in some cases. Perhaps he had once been in a league with those types, but he’d be an even bigger fool than he already is to try that again. Now, he knows what it is like to watch the hands of time tick away the years, to know that your name was never written on the now-crumbling pages of history, to realize that the few that may have cared no longer exist.
As far as intimidation goes, he had tried it once and it had not had the effect that he’d wanted, so now he sees no use for it. His first experience on the Mountain had sent him spiraling into a vortex of self-doubt, but in the end, it had been necessary to bring him the sincerity that she senses in him.
That, along with the even newer humility he has discovered, leads him to listen intently as she responds to his questions. He is surprised by how she describes kingdom life, of the informality, the normalcy of it all. It is not at all what he expected, but he quickly realizes that he is still stuck in the past, in the days where all the kingdoms had requirements for anyone that lived within their borders. Perhaps that rigidness is what had always steered him away from that lifestyle before.
But as she names Tephra’s rulers and speaks of their emphasis on families, something gently squeezes his chest, fills him with a longing the likes of which he has never known before. Casimira’s recommendation brings the events of the last few years into sharper focus, and it dawns on him that she has given him the answer to what he has subconsciously been seeking for the last few years.
If Tephra has always been a haven for families, then that is what it should continue to be. He may not know exactly how to fulfill that goal, but he still nods in agreement as he says, “Now that, I can certainly try to do.” And so he will, for he realizes that creating his own family is within his grasp and that might be the missing piece of his puzzle.
He begins to lose himself in the possibilities of his future, but she is quick to pull him back to the present with her curiosity. For a long moment, he stares unblinkingly at her, unable to form a response; but then, he laughs, not unkindly, at her question. He remembers that his grandmother had been a princess in her former home, that one of his daughters had been crowned in the Valley, and he’s sure that there were likely more of his unknown descendants that had led kingdoms, but the notion of him stepping into a role of authority seems far-fetched.
A variety of memories wash over him: of his trip into the past, to the unique appearances and abilities of the others he’s met up to this point, of former leaders he's spoken to, and they leave him feeling wholly inadequate in more ways than one. He is no longer an overly confident herd stallion, so he does not feel that he even projects an aura worthy of respect these days. So, he shakes his head, perhaps too vigorously. “No, I’m not the right kind of man for that sort of thing. I still have too much to learn about a lot of things.”
All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware
--Martin Buber
@Casimira