06-24-2024, 12:22 AM
i showed him all my teeth & then i laughed out loud,
because i never wanted saving, i just wanted to be found
because i never wanted saving, i just wanted to be found
She is afraid, she realizes.
Afraid as she watches the way emotions flash across his face before he quickly extinguishes them, but she catches just a glimpse of the anger he harbors and it is enough to send her heart racing. She had been prepared for the idea that an apology would not be enough, and yet somehow being faced with the reality of that was entirely different. She steels herself to the fact that he is going to walk away — the wielder of her karma, throwing back to her exactly what she had done to him.
Even now, at this moment, she cannot say how she will react if he does.
Would every part of this fortress she has walled herself behind finally crumble away, leaving her naked and exposed, broken, as she is forced to watch him leave? Or would it strengthen to such an impossible level that no one would ever stand a chance of catching a glimpse of her ever again?
She has never been the type to beg, but that moment before his eyes soften and she is left assuming the worst, she thinks that she might have.
She does not have to find out, though, because all at once he is curled around her, pressing against her, and whatever anger she had been holding onto deflates at the warmth of him. The sensation forces a strange, strangled exhale of breath, the emotion catching in her throat as if it is trying to choke her. For the space of several heartbeats she cannot speak, afraid that it would be impossible around the knot in her throat, afraid that the tears that continue to burn at the back of her eyes would spill down her cheeks.
When he pulls away to look at her, to tell her that he wants the chance to learn, that is when the first few tears start to fall. They darken her eyes to an impossible shade of blue, from the bright cerulean of tropical waters to something darker that you’d see beneath the water’s surface, carving tracks down her cheeks as they melt the frost in their path. She can’t remember if she has ever cried before, but she is almost certain that she has not; she has never loved anyone enough to be hurt by them, or to care if she hurt them.
“I’m so sorry, Lant,” she says, her voice hardly above a whisper as it threatens to still tremble with tears. “I didn’t mean to hurt you like that. I promise it isn’t going to happen again,” she vows as she steps beneath his lifted wing, wasting no time melting back into his side. Her heart is once again a wild rhythm in her chest, no longer from fear but from the exhilaration of feeling his body against hers, of his feathers brushing her back and how warm he always feels against her cool scales. There is a desperation that she is unfamiliar with when her lips press against his neck, caressing gently down the slope of it and along the front of his chest, as if breaking contact would cause him to come to his senses and leave her. At his chest she lingers, her breath soft and warm along his skin when she confesses, “I need you, too. And I don’t want to lose you.”
She pauses for what feels like a long moment, her heartbeat pulsing in her ears, until she says softly, “tell me what I have to do to keep you.”
Afraid as she watches the way emotions flash across his face before he quickly extinguishes them, but she catches just a glimpse of the anger he harbors and it is enough to send her heart racing. She had been prepared for the idea that an apology would not be enough, and yet somehow being faced with the reality of that was entirely different. She steels herself to the fact that he is going to walk away — the wielder of her karma, throwing back to her exactly what she had done to him.
Even now, at this moment, she cannot say how she will react if he does.
Would every part of this fortress she has walled herself behind finally crumble away, leaving her naked and exposed, broken, as she is forced to watch him leave? Or would it strengthen to such an impossible level that no one would ever stand a chance of catching a glimpse of her ever again?
She has never been the type to beg, but that moment before his eyes soften and she is left assuming the worst, she thinks that she might have.
She does not have to find out, though, because all at once he is curled around her, pressing against her, and whatever anger she had been holding onto deflates at the warmth of him. The sensation forces a strange, strangled exhale of breath, the emotion catching in her throat as if it is trying to choke her. For the space of several heartbeats she cannot speak, afraid that it would be impossible around the knot in her throat, afraid that the tears that continue to burn at the back of her eyes would spill down her cheeks.
When he pulls away to look at her, to tell her that he wants the chance to learn, that is when the first few tears start to fall. They darken her eyes to an impossible shade of blue, from the bright cerulean of tropical waters to something darker that you’d see beneath the water’s surface, carving tracks down her cheeks as they melt the frost in their path. She can’t remember if she has ever cried before, but she is almost certain that she has not; she has never loved anyone enough to be hurt by them, or to care if she hurt them.
“I’m so sorry, Lant,” she says, her voice hardly above a whisper as it threatens to still tremble with tears. “I didn’t mean to hurt you like that. I promise it isn’t going to happen again,” she vows as she steps beneath his lifted wing, wasting no time melting back into his side. Her heart is once again a wild rhythm in her chest, no longer from fear but from the exhilaration of feeling his body against hers, of his feathers brushing her back and how warm he always feels against her cool scales. There is a desperation that she is unfamiliar with when her lips press against his neck, caressing gently down the slope of it and along the front of his chest, as if breaking contact would cause him to come to his senses and leave her. At his chest she lingers, her breath soft and warm along his skin when she confesses, “I need you, too. And I don’t want to lose you.”
She pauses for what feels like a long moment, her heartbeat pulsing in her ears, until she says softly, “tell me what I have to do to keep you.”
A D R I A N A
@assailant