Deiti
With precision my sharp blades slice the granite hide of the stallions neck cleanly. Crimson fluid seeps from the cut arteries and coats my mouth before the break of my grasp as he lifts up, turning away and curling back around to face me.
The coppery tang of his blood on my tongue causes a burst of dopamine coursing through my body. The creature within me tremors with ecstasy.
That wasn't so bad was it?
My tongue traces the blood stained edges of my carnivorous teeth that still shimmer in the aura of the angelic being. Stilled by the euphoria of hormones, my eyes roll back in my head, closing partially.
My elation is interrupted by his shouting. It wasn't my fault I had been born this way. To walk the line of good and evil every second of every day. Never knowing when you'd snap and who you'd hurt in the process.
“You think I want to be like this?! I did not choose violence! It chose me,” I shout back, my words laced with venom.
My piercing blue eyes trace him now moving defensively around me. My memory goes to playing tag with my sister in the woods. Innocent foals -barely weanlings- when suddenly the urge of the hunter overcame me for the first time. The first taste of blood that triggered the creature from deep within.
He continues his aspiration for my salvation and I scuff at his remarks. “Help me. How could you help me, old man?! I am beyond help,” my words snap sharply even though there is a slight tinge of strife.
Help… It is all I had ever wanted.
There is a flicker in my reptilian eyes. The flame of a distant soul entrapped within the crystalline pools. It begs to be freed, clawing its way through the abysmal darkness, as if trapped in the depths of the ocean searching for the surface.
“Deiti,” I say with an exhausted sigh. The tension I held within me fades as my head hangs low in almost defeat. I had freed myself once more, but I did not know for how long.
My gaze that dropped with my face now rose to view the other. The glow of his crown catches on his bloodstained flesh, bringing a wince to my feminine face as my eyes shy away. “I did it again, didn't I…” It was more a statement than a question. Who else would have done such a thing?
“I lost control again… it's happening more and more and I fea… I fear I might never come back…” my scaled body shifts only enough to steady myself on my feet.
“I am beyond help,” I repeat under my breath, everything about me screams despair.
