[private] all the blank spots left a mark

[Nemeon]

Nemeon does not know how to answer her question, and lets it fall aside, though he feels guilty for very obviously shifting the topic to her. Her answer is not any more optimistic than his own, and he does not know why this comforts him. He would like for her to have sunshine and a full life - but if she does not… perhaps he can keep her for a little while longer. If there is nothing to pull her too soon away from him. “I know all about quiet.” He admits to her, still in a whisper-quiet voice and his grief over this may as well be an answer to the previous question. “It has a weight to it, after a while.”

His golden eyes are not straying from her now. This kind mare who is halfway between a stranger and a friend.

And the desire to touch her rises up to his surface - overwhelming with the intensity of it and inspiring him to take a step closer to the gentle beauty of her, the sweetness of the kind words she offered to him so easily. The alarm bells that should sound are muffled by the solid force of his weakness, of his desire to have someone in his life. He would sell his soul for even the possibility of it, and what resistance could his logic and reason have against such a wish? When it has been almost two decades since he has tried to touch another.

It is so easy to give in. Just for one moment. It has been so long - his toxicity may have even faded away.

(A stupid hope, among dozens of other rationalizations swarming through his mind in these hushed moments)

He doesn’t reach out, just yet, but his muzzle moves slightly - a sign he is thinking about it. They are close enough now it would not take too much - and perhaps some twisted part of him even thinks he will be absolved of the guilt if it is her that bridges their gap. “You’re already doing so much to help, Allaire. Just by being here and interrupting my quiet.” There’s a small, sad smile to accompany these quiet and sincere words.

NEMEON

@Allaire