05-05-2024, 03:33 PM
i showed him all my teeth & then i laughed out loud,
because i never wanted saving, i just wanted to be found
because i never wanted saving, i just wanted to be found
At first she had clung to her stubbornness like a lifeline, but recently it had felt more like an anchor.
The flame of her anger had long since lost its fervor, but the cold ashes left behind still lingered, coating her no matter how she tried to brush them away. Her mind was a pendulum that could not stop swinging, vacillating between wanting to find him and wanting to continue to avoid him. She doesn’t know what she would do even if she did see him; somewhere in the back of her mind there is an apology forming, only she does not know if it will ever find its way to her tongue. She isn’t even entirely sure what she would apologize for; she cannot apologize for her hurt, and doesn’t think that she should have to.
But she is sorry that she leapt to reacting rather than listening, and that she had fled so far that he could not follow even if he had wanted.
All of these emotions — the jealousy and the regret and the longing — were still too new to her, but she had come to the realization a few days ago that all the solitude in the world was not going to bring her any clarity.
She doesn’t know what kind of string must be tying the two of them together when the very place she decides to surface happens to be where he is just walking away from. She didn’t think herself the type to believe in fate, and even then, fate did not always mean a happy ending. Perhaps they were only fated to destroy each other.
His back is to her, and she knows that if she wanted she could slip back into the depths, undetected. But before she even realizes it her hooves have found solid ground, and with every step she takes the ocean drops further around her, until the waves are only rolling at her ankles. Her crimson-red mane is far more tangled than it has ever been from spending so long in the salted sea, and her usual fierce confidence is somewhat quieted, feeling suddenly exposed in the open air.
“Wait,” she says, the word itself feeling cracked and dry on her now rarely used tongue, and she isn’t even sure if she said it loud enough for him to hear her.
The flame of her anger had long since lost its fervor, but the cold ashes left behind still lingered, coating her no matter how she tried to brush them away. Her mind was a pendulum that could not stop swinging, vacillating between wanting to find him and wanting to continue to avoid him. She doesn’t know what she would do even if she did see him; somewhere in the back of her mind there is an apology forming, only she does not know if it will ever find its way to her tongue. She isn’t even entirely sure what she would apologize for; she cannot apologize for her hurt, and doesn’t think that she should have to.
But she is sorry that she leapt to reacting rather than listening, and that she had fled so far that he could not follow even if he had wanted.
All of these emotions — the jealousy and the regret and the longing — were still too new to her, but she had come to the realization a few days ago that all the solitude in the world was not going to bring her any clarity.
She doesn’t know what kind of string must be tying the two of them together when the very place she decides to surface happens to be where he is just walking away from. She didn’t think herself the type to believe in fate, and even then, fate did not always mean a happy ending. Perhaps they were only fated to destroy each other.
His back is to her, and she knows that if she wanted she could slip back into the depths, undetected. But before she even realizes it her hooves have found solid ground, and with every step she takes the ocean drops further around her, until the waves are only rolling at her ankles. Her crimson-red mane is far more tangled than it has ever been from spending so long in the salted sea, and her usual fierce confidence is somewhat quieted, feeling suddenly exposed in the open air.
“Wait,” she says, the word itself feeling cracked and dry on her now rarely used tongue, and she isn’t even sure if she said it loud enough for him to hear her.
A D R I A N A
@assailant