04-22-2024, 05:27 PM
yes i know that love is like ghosts,
few have seen it but everybody talks —
few have seen it but everybody talks —
If her face falls a little at his answer, she does her best to conceal it. Even if she had not acknowledged it outright there had been a small ember of hope at the thought that maybe he held the answer to her problem — or at least part of it. If she could send the ghosts in the right direction, give them the map that would take them from death back to life. Instead all she can do is ignore them, and the guilt of it all eats at her morning and night.
But he is honest, at least, and she gives a small nod of her head in understanding. “I guess you were just lucky,” she says, even if she does not entirely believe it. She isn’t so sure that being alive is lucky, but her experience with spirits tells her death is not always lucky, either. The unknown that everyone so fears is well known to her, and still she is afraid of death. She is afraid that she will not be one of those that welcomes it, that she will be like the spirits that have haunted her most of her life — clawing for a way back out, desperate for anyone that can hear her, frantically whispering into deaf ears.
“My name is Narya,” she tells him, trying to smile. She is not good at pretending to be happy, but she has learned that others find sadness unsettling, especially from a stranger. She tries to think of how best to answer his question without it coming across as though she is drowning in self-pity. “Nearly constantly. I can see them, too,” she begins, and though she keeps her tone light there is a shade of worry there, too. “If I could control it it wouldn’t be so bad, I think. There was only a brief period of time not long ago that I could. It felt like…it felt like magic.” It spills from her before she can stop it, the thing that she has never voiced out loud — how after she had done her part to help Baltia and Stratos she had felt so strong and controlled, and how it just as suddenly had been ripped away by a force she never saw the face of. “But I don’t think magic comes and goes like that, does it? I don’t know what it was. It’s gone now, whatever it was.”
But he is honest, at least, and she gives a small nod of her head in understanding. “I guess you were just lucky,” she says, even if she does not entirely believe it. She isn’t so sure that being alive is lucky, but her experience with spirits tells her death is not always lucky, either. The unknown that everyone so fears is well known to her, and still she is afraid of death. She is afraid that she will not be one of those that welcomes it, that she will be like the spirits that have haunted her most of her life — clawing for a way back out, desperate for anyone that can hear her, frantically whispering into deaf ears.
“My name is Narya,” she tells him, trying to smile. She is not good at pretending to be happy, but she has learned that others find sadness unsettling, especially from a stranger. She tries to think of how best to answer his question without it coming across as though she is drowning in self-pity. “Nearly constantly. I can see them, too,” she begins, and though she keeps her tone light there is a shade of worry there, too. “If I could control it it wouldn’t be so bad, I think. There was only a brief period of time not long ago that I could. It felt like…it felt like magic.” It spills from her before she can stop it, the thing that she has never voiced out loud — how after she had done her part to help Baltia and Stratos she had felt so strong and controlled, and how it just as suddenly had been ripped away by a force she never saw the face of. “But I don’t think magic comes and goes like that, does it? I don’t know what it was. It’s gone now, whatever it was.”
Narya
— spirits follow everywhere i go,
they sing all day and they haunt me in the night
they sing all day and they haunt me in the night
@cancer