05-08-2023, 10:17 PM
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down —
He breaks her in a way that no one else ever could.
It is different from the way a lover could break her heart; different from the kind of hurt that came from letting someone in only for them to shatter everything you’ve shown them, to cast you aside as if you had been nothing (and perhaps it is easy, because at one point you were nothing).. She had never had to let Kensley in—he’s always been there. He has known her from before the beginning and he will know her after it all ends, and the only thing she could ever wish to be different is that things were not so hard in between.
Seeing him repeatedly changed, that is what breaks her.
Every change seems to wear him down a bit more than the last, and she is terrified of the day that he will find he cannot take anymore. If she could shoulder some of his burden she gladly would, even though she knows he would never let her, just as she would never expect him to carry the weight of her own sorrows.
“I know,” she says softly, sadly, when he says that he is tired, and the worry again ghosts across her face. She watches the way the grass stirs as he exhales, as if he himself is the wind, and she fixes a smile to her face. “But you will persevere, like you always do.”
He asks her where she has been and she sighs, trying to gather her thoughts into words. “Everywhere. Nowhere. Lost.” She shakes her head, the wildflowers shifting along with her dark forelock, and she does not know how to explain the ache that lives in her chest, or how she had finally come to realize that solitude would not be the way to rid herself of it. “But I think I’m okay with being found again.”
It is different from the way a lover could break her heart; different from the kind of hurt that came from letting someone in only for them to shatter everything you’ve shown them, to cast you aside as if you had been nothing (and perhaps it is easy, because at one point you were nothing).. She had never had to let Kensley in—he’s always been there. He has known her from before the beginning and he will know her after it all ends, and the only thing she could ever wish to be different is that things were not so hard in between.
Seeing him repeatedly changed, that is what breaks her.
Every change seems to wear him down a bit more than the last, and she is terrified of the day that he will find he cannot take anymore. If she could shoulder some of his burden she gladly would, even though she knows he would never let her, just as she would never expect him to carry the weight of her own sorrows.
“I know,” she says softly, sadly, when he says that he is tired, and the worry again ghosts across her face. She watches the way the grass stirs as he exhales, as if he himself is the wind, and she fixes a smile to her face. “But you will persevere, like you always do.”
He asks her where she has been and she sighs, trying to gather her thoughts into words. “Everywhere. Nowhere. Lost.” She shakes her head, the wildflowers shifting along with her dark forelock, and she does not know how to explain the ache that lives in her chest, or how she had finally come to realize that solitude would not be the way to rid herself of it. “But I think I’m okay with being found again.”
KENNICE
@kensley