04-19-2023, 10:18 PM
all I know is you're here with me
It is the thumping of his heart that draws hers’ back in.
When they are pressed against each other like this, she knows he is real. When his muscles still, when he is rooted to the spot in awe of this moment, she knows he will not disappear. When she feels her own heart matching the pace of his, she knows they were always meant to be together.
These certainties are so clear that it is hard to believe her life only minutes ago.
But she has dwelled on her misfortunes and gluttonously devoured her sadness long enough. He may still harbor the bitter roots in his soil, but she is ready for the flowers.
She is ready to live for others again, not just herself. She is eager to make tracks towards a purposeful destination instead of existing in subsequent forgettable spaces. She wants to see what this world has to offer now, despite its changes – she thinks maybe she can roll with the punches, as long as she is not alone. More than anything, she wants him. To be beside him. To pick up where they left off. To have the time that was stolen so egregiously from them.
To love him.
That half smirk nearly does her in as a wave of warm nostalgia wells up and threatens more happy tears to fall. He soothes her with his touch and she idly wonders if this is what the afterlife would feel like for her if she was worthy of it: the feeling of comfort and adoration in perpetuity. She wouldn’t mind death if it gave her that. But she imagines it is not so. Why else would he cling to her living form so tightly now if he’d had enough to sustain him on the Other Side? Talulah realizes then that she will never ask him about it. He says he wants to know about everything After, and if it is not proof enough of the failures of the afterlife, she doesn’t know what else could be.
“I’m – “ She stammers, her heart catching off-rhythm for the first time since she saw him again. That answer feels like those bitter roots rising up to choke her, to pull her down below the dark, sucking mud, so she shakes her head. She is fine now, that is all that matters. His other unsaid inquiries were easier, so she takes that easy path.
“And I that handsome, chiseled jawline.” Talulah reaches up to press a light kiss on his cheek to show her jest and to reset her pulse. She starts with the twins: his doppelganger daughter and bald-faced son. She tells the truth, tells him how she and Titanya had never understood each other, tells him how Terran’s strange appetites had nearly cost him his life. But on the next breath, she praises the girl’s fire and strength and the boy’s gentle, determined spirit. Bits and pieces of us both. And if there is regret like the undercurrent of the river they stand beside in her voice, it is weak. Because above all, she tells Tiberios of their independence. How they had never really needed her, only each other.
Ischia is painted in all the colors of paradise she can think of. So different than their Dale. Inexplicably, perhaps, her life had never been more dull. There was an alien quality to it that she couldn’t habituate to. And maybe it was larger than that island, she explains to him, maybe it was just Beqanna at that time (she has fallen into the story now, pausing only to nibble at his withers soothingly). Little was permanent when all the lands flooded or famined or faltered in some new way before sometimes reappearing seemingly unscathed. She tells the sabino of their family there: of Ramiel’s wife, Ea making it her own sanctuary for many of their blood and many not of their blood.
But time continues to march on and here it gets fuzzy and both stretches and shrinks for Talulah. Her life in Beqanna became a series of blips: Here she is at the foot of the Mountain staring up but never ascending. Here she is swimming and almost drowning in the ocean, unable to find Ischia or anyone who had called it home. Here she is leaving the land for the final time, setting off for whatever was beyond. And somewhere in there, she met their grandchildren, briefly. Oh, they are magnificent, she tells him, laying her cheek along the small of his back, smiling to herself.
And that memory is so strong, she realizes she is sending it to him unconsciously. He can see their little faces, Titanya’s young children, if he wants. She hadn’t been lucky enough to find Terran and it is a regret that she knows will haunt her days. Had he met a great love? Had he given them children or had they conquered the world on their own? Talulah relishes the memories she has, but she is greedy for more. What she has will never be enough for those she loves and especially those she has lost.
She closes her eyes when she says all she can for now. Let him absorb it, let the life sink deep into his skin so that he feels it without ever having lived it. There is a lot of life still to come for the both of them. Despite the grey peppering his muzzle and the weight of the years heavy on her soul, they could still make something of it. Talulah steps back and looks into his amber eyes, relishes the weight of his gaze on her.
“What now?” She presses her lips to his neck. Tiny electrical sparks arc between them when she pulls away, enough to get both of their attention. “I have a few suggestions.”
When they are pressed against each other like this, she knows he is real. When his muscles still, when he is rooted to the spot in awe of this moment, she knows he will not disappear. When she feels her own heart matching the pace of his, she knows they were always meant to be together.
These certainties are so clear that it is hard to believe her life only minutes ago.
But she has dwelled on her misfortunes and gluttonously devoured her sadness long enough. He may still harbor the bitter roots in his soil, but she is ready for the flowers.
She is ready to live for others again, not just herself. She is eager to make tracks towards a purposeful destination instead of existing in subsequent forgettable spaces. She wants to see what this world has to offer now, despite its changes – she thinks maybe she can roll with the punches, as long as she is not alone. More than anything, she wants him. To be beside him. To pick up where they left off. To have the time that was stolen so egregiously from them.
To love him.
That half smirk nearly does her in as a wave of warm nostalgia wells up and threatens more happy tears to fall. He soothes her with his touch and she idly wonders if this is what the afterlife would feel like for her if she was worthy of it: the feeling of comfort and adoration in perpetuity. She wouldn’t mind death if it gave her that. But she imagines it is not so. Why else would he cling to her living form so tightly now if he’d had enough to sustain him on the Other Side? Talulah realizes then that she will never ask him about it. He says he wants to know about everything After, and if it is not proof enough of the failures of the afterlife, she doesn’t know what else could be.
“I’m – “ She stammers, her heart catching off-rhythm for the first time since she saw him again. That answer feels like those bitter roots rising up to choke her, to pull her down below the dark, sucking mud, so she shakes her head. She is fine now, that is all that matters. His other unsaid inquiries were easier, so she takes that easy path.
“And I that handsome, chiseled jawline.” Talulah reaches up to press a light kiss on his cheek to show her jest and to reset her pulse. She starts with the twins: his doppelganger daughter and bald-faced son. She tells the truth, tells him how she and Titanya had never understood each other, tells him how Terran’s strange appetites had nearly cost him his life. But on the next breath, she praises the girl’s fire and strength and the boy’s gentle, determined spirit. Bits and pieces of us both. And if there is regret like the undercurrent of the river they stand beside in her voice, it is weak. Because above all, she tells Tiberios of their independence. How they had never really needed her, only each other.
Ischia is painted in all the colors of paradise she can think of. So different than their Dale. Inexplicably, perhaps, her life had never been more dull. There was an alien quality to it that she couldn’t habituate to. And maybe it was larger than that island, she explains to him, maybe it was just Beqanna at that time (she has fallen into the story now, pausing only to nibble at his withers soothingly). Little was permanent when all the lands flooded or famined or faltered in some new way before sometimes reappearing seemingly unscathed. She tells the sabino of their family there: of Ramiel’s wife, Ea making it her own sanctuary for many of their blood and many not of their blood.
But time continues to march on and here it gets fuzzy and both stretches and shrinks for Talulah. Her life in Beqanna became a series of blips: Here she is at the foot of the Mountain staring up but never ascending. Here she is swimming and almost drowning in the ocean, unable to find Ischia or anyone who had called it home. Here she is leaving the land for the final time, setting off for whatever was beyond. And somewhere in there, she met their grandchildren, briefly. Oh, they are magnificent, she tells him, laying her cheek along the small of his back, smiling to herself.
And that memory is so strong, she realizes she is sending it to him unconsciously. He can see their little faces, Titanya’s young children, if he wants. She hadn’t been lucky enough to find Terran and it is a regret that she knows will haunt her days. Had he met a great love? Had he given them children or had they conquered the world on their own? Talulah relishes the memories she has, but she is greedy for more. What she has will never be enough for those she loves and especially those she has lost.
She closes her eyes when she says all she can for now. Let him absorb it, let the life sink deep into his skin so that he feels it without ever having lived it. There is a lot of life still to come for the both of them. Despite the grey peppering his muzzle and the weight of the years heavy on her soul, they could still make something of it. Talulah steps back and looks into his amber eyes, relishes the weight of his gaze on her.
“What now?” She presses her lips to his neck. Tiny electrical sparks arc between them when she pulls away, enough to get both of their attention. “I have a few suggestions.”
Talulah
@
Tiberios I am SO sorry for the delay but I am back <3