press my nose up to the glass around your hearti should’ve known i was weaker from the startShe weakens. His fire grows dimmer, her flames burning closer and closer to the point of extinguishing, her body decaying to a state of a corpse, her dragon eyes staring at everything and nothing. As she weakens, he weakens with her. His longevity with her can only last so long. As she relinquished the throne to Lagertha (honestly, the last person he would have thought his fire would give the throne to) he felt the Jungle’s magic in his bones fade away. It left behind a deep ache, a constant dull pain of age, a struggling heart, lungs that hurt to breathe air, senses that began to fade – as the magic swept away from his body, the effects of age took over at a startling rate.
Where he once had been powerful and strong and muscular, he became nothing.
That wasn’t true. He wasn’t ‘nothing.’ He was always something with her. Even if he wasn’t himself, she always made him into something. Together, they were something. Apart, he was something because of her. They were the embodiment of love through hardships. Their love was sharpened and strengthened and molded from the fire of life, from the tumbling rockslides of dark times, from the summer breezes of good times, from the fierce dependency when they relied on each other. They had crossed lands, they had traveled dimensions, and they had made sacrifices – all for each other’s love.
If the once-titan knew anything, it was that they would suffer the final hurdle of life in the same way they jumped over every other hurdle – together.
As they decline in their health (as their hearts pound a slow beat, as their lungs breathe a rattling draw, as their muscles ache from movement, as their joints creak with stiffness, as their stomachs refuse to cooperate, as their bodies slow in the dance of life) each finds comfort in the other. He loves her even as her body is whittled away like a woodcarver to his piece of wood. He loves her even as they find themselves moving less and less. He loves her even as his heart thumps louder and fiercer every time he hears her breathing still in the nighttime longer than the time before (only to hear it jump alive again). He loves her even as he spots the dark fingers of death looming closer with every passing hour.
They stay together in the days close to their dying seconds. They remember together, each memory dancing through their elderly, nostalgic minds like a play. They say each of their ten children’s names, and then each of their six grandchildren’s names – putting personalities with names and names with faces. They remember good times. They remember bad times. They remember all the times in between. They fortify their love with soft touches between grizzled muzzle and dimmed fire. They say ‘I love you’ in the tongue of Beqanna and the tongue of their love. He makes sure she knows how much he loves her, how much he will always love her, how much he has loved her.
When it is time (and he can feel it in the very marrow of his bones), they wander to the place where life has flourished. They move with beating hearts alike, with breathes perfectly in time, with shuffling steps taken like a dance – all toward the very place his fire had pushed all but two of their perfect children into the world. How suitable, he thinks, through the fog of knowing his death is approaching but also knowing he will die alongside her.
His eyes have not failed him as much as he expected. She moves to lie on the Jungle’s ground, to breathe in the scent of sweet soil and growing things one last time, and he gazes upon her. Despite the decaying look of her wilting frame, he sees only the spunky fire he met in the meadow. He sees the way her dragon eyes flared when she told him to leave her alone – and the way they almost flickered with interest when he refused. He sees the way her curves spoke words to her in their times of openness and love. He sees the sharp way her ears pin back to anyone who refuses her, or the way they prick forward when he speaks. He sees the curve of her lips when she smiles at him. He sees the way her tattoos flamed with living fire, scalding her hairless body. He sees the way her steps caused her hips to swing in a way that made him wish to be trapped in that moment forever.
Eventually, he moves to nestle next to her. Their bodies press close, and when she begs for him to be closer he wraps his neck around her, his shuddering breaths heaving warm air onto her chilled skin. He is not afraid. The titan had faced many frightening things in his lifetime – too many frightening things – and death is only another obstacle to get across. Only a few more moments of this aching, dark, painful life and he will be able to spend a blissful, eternal life with his love. Nonetheless, he isn’t afraid. He isn’t worried or desperate or insane. He is happy and calm and peaceful. He is with his fire – nothing can hurt him.
She whispers her last words to him and he soaks them in. He holds them close to his chest, but is still quick to give his answer before her chest stills and her fiery soul leaves Beqanna. “Ti amo molto, il mio fuoco. Ci vediamo presto.” And then she breathes her last and he is left alone. It is scary, for a moment, when he feels the very things that make up her personality waft away like a leaf in the wind. But he knows he will join her soon, and he tries not to worry. He hugs her close in his final moment, feeling the leftover warmth of her body, and closes his eyes.
He becomes everything and nothing.
[***]
Scorch: Where do I begin? You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are my light, my life, my heart, my love, my soul, my joy. A world without you is not a world at all. You bring me peace, turmoil, hope, excitement, nostalgia, warmth, love, joy, content. The things I feel for you – no song, no dance, no words, no poem – nothing I can think of in the entire world can express what I feel for you, my fire. I am so incredibly glad we are able to travel into this next eternity as we have done everything; together. ‘An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.’ I love you, my fire, now and forever.
Jackel Lantern: I suppose I should say something about you, but I have nothing to say. I just hope I did a better job at fathering my children than you did.
Glamour: I am ashamed to have called you my mother. When you arrive here, I shall ignore you as I have all these years. Stay far away from me or there will be a hefty consequence.
Isnofret: I don’t know where you went or what caused you to disappear with our baby girl, but I hope you are happy. You were the sunshine I needed in my life at that time and I am grateful for it. I hope you are spreading your life elsewhere and that the light inside you never goes out.
Fluttershy: You were my first child. You left with your mother, however, before I had the chance to truly get to know you. I hope you are safe and happy, wherever you are. I do, truly, love you despite how little I knew of you.
Noori: Oh my tender little doe… What a woman you have grown to be. I am eternally regretful that your mother and I did not raise you the way you deserved and I certainly hope you will find in your heart to forgive us. We truly meant well. I pray you will not make the same mistakes as we did. I love you, my darling.
Kaida: From the beginning I knew you would have your mother’s spirit and fire. I knew you would set fire anything that came close to you and your heart. You alit me with your soul, but you might have burned your mother. I don’t know how fire clashing with fire would turn out in a physical sense, but I suppose in a personality manner, it looked much like your relationship between you and your mother. Please cling close to the knowledge that we did try to raise you properly – it just didn’t turn out that way. I love you very much.
Rain: I am so sorry we could not get to know each other, but please know that I have loved you every moment since your unfortunately short life. Getting to know you now and treasuring every moment with you now will be my pride and joy.
Simeon: You are so much like me, my gentlemanly boy. Optimistic, gentle-hearted, stirred by the ways of a soldier-mind. I am sorry I didn’t get to know you better than I should have, my oldest boy. Please treasure your family and don’t ever let them go. I love you, Simeon.
Shahrizai: My loyal, tailless son. Who knew that, when you were born during that wintery time in the Jungle, you would grow into the handsome man you are today. I am so proud of you and the independent personality you have grown into. Know that I will always be watching over you from afar.
Ea: I am incredibly sad that I didn’t get to know you better. You’re mother shipped you off, but do not let assume that means she or I do not love you. We love and adore you very much, dear heart. Continue to be who you are and do what you think is right in your heart and you will go places.
Leiland: Thank you for standing beside your mother – God knows how much she needed it. You will grow into someone strong and brave, I am sure. Do not doubt yourself; not ever. Please know that, despite not knowing you as well as I would have liked, I watch you from afar and pride myself in your trials and victories. I love you.
Wrynn: My sweet, darling, generous little girl. You are too pure, too innocent for this world. I hope you always stay the same, but learn from your mistakes. Grow into the wise, forgiving woman I know you have the prospect of becoming. Do not conform to what the world tells you to be – instead, be who you want to become. Please visit whenever you can; I’ll be watching for you. I love you very dearly.
Sarkis: Be careful. Guard your heart. Stay true to yourself. Do not doubt your actions, but rather take pride in them. Never stop being happy, always console with your siblings, build up those who are falling. I didn’t know you as much as I wanted, but I still loved and love you. Stay strong, my dearest.
Vi: I’m sorry both of your parents are leaving you at the same time. I’m sorry I cannot impart any more knowledge besides this to you. I’m sorry I won’t be able to see you grow tall and strong. I’m sorry I won’t be able to see you bring forth life into the world, or tell me about your hardships, or grow to love the skies you live under. I hope you remain strong, though, and that your siblings will help you through this journey of life. I love you, my girlie, even though I do not know you.
Volcan: Know that we are looking for you, my youngest son. Be strong and fight hard.
Camrynn: Don’t touch my family again or I will rip your throat out and feed it to the dogs of hell.
Lagertha: Treat my wife’s throne well or there will be consequences. Don’t think I know about you and your little tricks.
The Jungle Sisters: Thank you for treating Scorch in the ways that she deserved. Thank you for following her commands like the family you are. Thank you for being here for the two of us in this dark time. Please continue to thrive like I know you will. Please heal wounds and survive with passion. Do not forget, ever, what it means to be a family connected not by blood, but by love. Hold steadfast to that. Be strong, as I know you will be. Do not doubt one another. Take care.
