09-21-2015, 02:10 PM
love is a temporary madness...
Sometimes she feels crazy. Her life is once again spiraling out of her control. Just when she had thought she had a chance for true happiness, events had conspired against her. And now she is lost in a maelstrom of new and ancient memories, horrors that she would rather not have revisited. What better way to describe her mental state than crazy? In the actual sense of the word however, one could only describe her as perfectly sane. Despite everything that has happened to her, she still has managed to retain her sense.
She can well understand Kushiel’s skepticism. She had not told him the full story. Of course, she isn’t quite certain she knows the full story herself. And just as those ancient memories that had resurfaced, it is not something she particularly wishes to dwell upon. The memory of falling is too fresh, too sickening. Flight has always been a solace to her, feeling the wind on her face, caressing her body, tugging at her dark tresses, had been as soothing as it was freeing. But that had been taken from her so brutally, at a time when she could use it most.
There is no smile on her lips today, no brightness in her russet eyes. No, today those eyes are haunted, dark, the brightness within her diminished to near nonexistence. Ironic isn’t it? She could blaze as bright as the sun if she so chose, and yet she feels the very opposite.
Kushiel is trying to make sense of her situation, asking what she had meant by accident. If she could have mustered the energy, she would have laughed. He is trying to understand a situation she has little understanding of herself.
“Both, I think.”
There is a hint of sardonic humor in her words as she speaks.
“I felt his emotions, heard some of his thoughts. I’m certain he could hear mine as well. I don’t know how he did it, or why. But he was… confused.”
It hurts to say that, the irony of the entire situation as awful as the outcome. She is quiet for a moment as painful memories replay in her head, as she searches for a name. But there is nothing. Who he was, why, she has answers to none of those questions.
“I wish I could tell you.”
His attention turns to her oddly colored sister then as he assesses her. She wouldn’t necessarily say that she is full of surprises. She simply has never had a reason to tell him of her daughter, just as she has never mentioned Tiphon. Her heart aches at the thought of him. He is gone, where she knows not. But in her time of need, he is nowhere to be found.
Kushiel asks the obvious question then, of where her parents are, why they are not caring for Lirren. In truth, she does not know who Lirren’s father is (though she has a strong suspicion). As for her own, that is not something she wishes to delve into at the moment.
“My mother… she died giving birth to Lirren.”
The words are halting, her grief still too new. She blinks back tears, clearing her throat before she continues.
“I don’t know who Lirren’s father is, and as for mine, he is not someone who deserves a place in my life.”
Her voice hardens on the words. After the way he had treated her daughter, his granddaughter, she has no desire to give him the time of day, much less anything more. And as much as she’d like to deliver to him the comeuppance he so deserves, she knows enough about him to know that she will never be strong enough to do that. Better to let sleeping dogs lie, as they say.
She can well understand Kushiel’s skepticism. She had not told him the full story. Of course, she isn’t quite certain she knows the full story herself. And just as those ancient memories that had resurfaced, it is not something she particularly wishes to dwell upon. The memory of falling is too fresh, too sickening. Flight has always been a solace to her, feeling the wind on her face, caressing her body, tugging at her dark tresses, had been as soothing as it was freeing. But that had been taken from her so brutally, at a time when she could use it most.
There is no smile on her lips today, no brightness in her russet eyes. No, today those eyes are haunted, dark, the brightness within her diminished to near nonexistence. Ironic isn’t it? She could blaze as bright as the sun if she so chose, and yet she feels the very opposite.
Kushiel is trying to make sense of her situation, asking what she had meant by accident. If she could have mustered the energy, she would have laughed. He is trying to understand a situation she has little understanding of herself.
“Both, I think.”
There is a hint of sardonic humor in her words as she speaks.
“I felt his emotions, heard some of his thoughts. I’m certain he could hear mine as well. I don’t know how he did it, or why. But he was… confused.”
It hurts to say that, the irony of the entire situation as awful as the outcome. She is quiet for a moment as painful memories replay in her head, as she searches for a name. But there is nothing. Who he was, why, she has answers to none of those questions.
“I wish I could tell you.”
His attention turns to her oddly colored sister then as he assesses her. She wouldn’t necessarily say that she is full of surprises. She simply has never had a reason to tell him of her daughter, just as she has never mentioned Tiphon. Her heart aches at the thought of him. He is gone, where she knows not. But in her time of need, he is nowhere to be found.
Kushiel asks the obvious question then, of where her parents are, why they are not caring for Lirren. In truth, she does not know who Lirren’s father is (though she has a strong suspicion). As for her own, that is not something she wishes to delve into at the moment.
“My mother… she died giving birth to Lirren.”
The words are halting, her grief still too new. She blinks back tears, clearing her throat before she continues.
“I don’t know who Lirren’s father is, and as for mine, he is not someone who deserves a place in my life.”
Her voice hardens on the words. After the way he had treated her daughter, his granddaughter, she has no desire to give him the time of day, much less anything more. And as much as she’d like to deliver to him the comeuppance he so deserves, she knows enough about him to know that she will never be strong enough to do that. Better to let sleeping dogs lie, as they say.
elysteria