01-23-2023, 12:10 AM
feel around until you find where your heart went --
It is a sick kind of comfort that she finds in him, but it is somehow reassuring to know that even when the world tilts on its axis, they somehow remain the same.
Beqanna is flooded and changed in ways that she silently worries it will not recover from, and yet here they stand in the middle of the last remaining kingdom, consumed by their own game, and suddenly all she thinks and hears and sees is him.
She is never more selfish than when she is alongside him, when she is certain that no matter how feared and adored he is by the general population, no one could possibly imagine how she feels about him. When there is nothing to separate them but skin and her senses fail her and she thinks that this will be the time that she will do whatever it is he asks of her—this time she will not say no, this time she will not falter, this time she will give him no reason to punish her or to think that she is weak. This time she will do anything to ensure that she is still the girl he crafts illusions of lost valleys for and presses stars into her skin, that he pulls from the afterlife and drags from an unimaginable darkness.
And there is a part of her that thinks—knows—that all those grand gestures have been meticulous plans to lure her into loyalty, but even knowing this, she craves his attention all the same.
When he pulls away she has to resist the urge to follow, and instead she forces herself to look at what he has brought her this time.
The statue is clearly him, and while there is a flicker of uncertainty as she finds herself wondering what kind of test this is, there is also a trace of amusement as she steps closer to better appraise it. “Am I supposed to pray to it like the devout follower that I am and you’ll appear to answer my prayers?” she asks with a coy smile in his direction as she reaches to touch her nose to the smooth stone of the statue, and she is surprised by the jealousy that sparks behind her ribs at the thought of anyone else coming here to observe it. She is not typically one prone to envy or possessiveness—it would be an especially exhausting and futile waste of energy considering the very nature of those she has chosen to love, but also terribly hypocritical of her even by her standards since she is loyal in every way except with her body—but the void had left her changed in more ways than one, and the thread of darkness had a way of uprooting emotions she usually kept buried.
“It’s lovely,” she says more seriously once the strange wave of unfamiliar emotions had passed. “I don’t think it will compare to the real thing, but thank you.”
-- ryatah
@Carnage
its okay i took 75 years (: