[private] Old enough to know but too young to care

[Fyr]

I'll settle for the ghost of you.

To an outsider, their mutual glows might have been confusing. A blend of twilight that seems to merge into the sun, sunlight that bleeds into her eventide. All the more out of place within these darkening stone walls. They had still been children when he had last seen her, when he had enjoyed all the various shapes and creatures she could become. Sickle had been one of the few playmates he had a feeling Aela had ever approved of which had made her sudden absence that much more confusing. He had been surprised his mother had let her go so easily, not truly understanding what had happened the day Mazikeen had arrived in the Pampas to bring her home.

There was still much he hadn’t gotten to know about her and things he had wanted to show her. He had never gotten the chance to test his mettle against her own, to test himself against the best of the best.

Considering that their friendship had only just begun to bloom, perhaps it is strange to be so pleased to see her. Then again, considering everything he had recently gone through, maybe it wasn’t so odd after all. The regret lingers in his gaze as she shakes her head and he wonders if he had asked something he shouldn’t. There is a little clarity when she explains about being stolen which is news to him and shows in the frown that curls on the corner of his mouth. He hadn’t know she had been stolen from them (stolen from him that little dark voice corrects in the back of his head), only that her mother had wanted to take her home. As for missing the Pampas… “Me too.” He says quietly, a faint smile matching her own but the weight of his words are gloomy with meaning.

Curiosity passes over his features at the mention of the Forest and for a moment he thinks to ask if she had seen Firion, if she had spotted the stallion that looked similar to himself who he had last seen so heart-sick in the dark woods. He thinks better of it when she brings the conversation back around to him and now it is his turn to be hesitant, uncertain, when so many fates were unknown to him and even thinking of those that were missing caused an ache in his chest.

“I was home when the earthquake struck.” He finally manages, rolling a jaguar spotted shoulder in a small shrug as his yellow eyes glance away from her face. “I think I was drowning.” He suddenly says, finding himself unable to meet her gaze and instead looking towards the sea that had almost taken his life. It was not something he had really spoken to anyone about except for Lillibet, for who could truly understand the terror and the loss except for those that had lived through it? Those who had also lost their family and homes. Yet, standing here with Sickle and feeling the tentative threads of their friendship again, he finds he doesn’t mind sharing this with her even when it dredges up painful memories.

“Somehow I ended up on the Isle. I stayed there for a bit until I could get back to the mainland and then I got turned around and ended up in Hyaline but didn’t stay too long.” Raising his head slightly, he looks into her mismatched gaze with a sigh. “I’m residing in Pangea now with another Southern survivor.” He finally says, hesitating a moment. “There’s talk that maybe others that are missing might show up there. Like my mother.” Worry flickers through his strange yellow eyes but he shutters it quickly, glancing back over to the shadows they create through the stones with their glow.

He finds he doesn’t want to talk about that anymore, the constant feeling of dread he wakes up with each morning and falls asleep with each night. How he tries to resist that feeling in the back of his skull that’s constantly knocking, demanding, for him to open back up and summon souls one by one until he finds his answers. Instead, he shifts with discomfort before finally looking back to her. “I didn’t know you had been stolen. I thought you had gone home by choice.” He manages, something uncertain flickering in the flames along his spine. “I’m sorry.” What he is apologizing for he’s not exactly sure. Not stopping it from happening? Not knowing that he should have looked for her sooner, that maybe he could have helped? It’s hard to say but it feels right, that he should be saying he’s sorry for something.

This time he doesn’t think twice when he steps towards her and gently nudges her iridescent cheek with a pale glowing muzzle. “I am glad that your alright.”

FYR

Photo by Little Willow Art

@Sickle