[private] no other sadness in the world would do, atrox

[atrox]

hangman hooded, softly swinging; don't close the coffin yet, I'm alive

He is already shaking his head as the apology begins to slip from her lips. He is already breaking through the haze of his disbelief and stepping forward, pulling her to him, and he remembers what it had felt like to hold her when they had spent that year so close and yet so distant. Is he destined for this then? Destined to have these brief moments in the sun before she is ripped from him? Would he ever hold her for long?

“Don’t,” and his voice is rough, nearly angry were it not so drenched in his love for her. “Don’t you dare apologize,” he says and this is said against her temple as he presses a fierce kiss there. Because this wasn’t her fault. This was never her fault. “I should have found a way to you,” he says, expelling the treacherous truth from his chest, pulling the poison straight from his veins. “I should have cut a deal with the devil if it meant saving you,” he confesses, and there it is—his failure, his weakness.

He should have been there to save her and he has never been able to.

He has only been able to watch and rage in the aftermath.

But he doesn’t let that sour this moment for long. He puts his self-loathing away for another time and he just holds her close, his body stilling with the knowledge that she is finally here. That his world has once again righted. “I know,” he whispers softly to her, a voice that has only ever been hers, and he runs his scarred lips over her cheeks to catch the tears that have fallen. “Because I know how hard I would have fought to get back to you,” a soft smile against his hard mouth. “I know,” he repeats once more.

ATROX | THE PANTHER KING

@Ryatah