On some level, Mazikeen is surprised it took this long for a chance encounter with Sickle - whenever she ventured out of Hyaline she was always on-edge. It did not take much imagination to guess why the blue iridescent girl hadn’t ever come through the mountains to visit.
She watches Malik carefully, but though he does a very good job at keeping whatever he is feeling guarded she thinks she sees small signs of what’s underneath. Like how he stumbles over his words in a way that is very familiar - she’s not sure when was the last time she spat out a handful of thoughts without stumbling through them.
“I’m sorry, Malik. For not telling you about her, for how I was when you were little…” Mazikeen inhales a shaky breath, feeling like she’s doing this all wrong - hating that she spent her first year as a mom not paying any attention at all on how to do it and now she is just scrambling to learn. Her mom wouldn’t talk about this at all. “For all of it. I think… once I was me again I just didn’t know how to tell you about Sickle because I didn’t know if… well, if I should tell you about your father.” It sounds pretty stupid now and exactly the same mistake she had been making all along - she should be warning everyone in the world about what Gale was like. “That maybe it was kinder for you to not know what he was really like, just like it was kinder to leave Sickle somewhere else where I couldn't hurt her anymore.”
It takes all of her willpower for a sob not to choke out of her, even though she knows the tears are obvious enough. Her face crinkles with a frown instead. She didn’t think all truths need to be told, but if Malik wanted to know them - could she really keep them from him? “Did I get that wrong?” She asks softly, genuinely wanting to know - thinking her son might just be blunt enough to give her an honest answer and then she can try to do better for him.
@
Malik