Mazikeen leans into the hesitant touch he offers her and the comfort she finds in it. His reassurances don’t erase away all her worries - they are far too well-rooted in her for that - but some of that weight eases and he effectively distracts her. First when she winces when he mentions her loving Gale - her head moving in the smallest of stubborn shakes. What did it say about her that there might be any part of her that still loved someone who had hurt her and others so much?
She couldn’t, wouldn’t, think about whether that was true right now. It was tied to too much she did not want to dredge up.
And the rest of Firion’s words are kind but she cannot see the truth in them either. It still felt like she needed forgiveness, the deep ache in her heart persisting.
Surprise distracts her next, when Firion admits to having children. Too many of them. Concern lines the frown on her face but a flurry of reactions passes through her mind, including quickly reprimanding herself for being surprised. And there is something twisting in her stomach, an ugly feeling she recognizes as jealousy. An emotion she has no right to experience - and she’s unaware of how he had just grappled with the same reaction. And yet it is easy not to give it any attention as she sees that hurt, so when he drops her gaze she is the one to close the space between them. Her touch is gentle as she holds it against his skin while he disappears into his head for a moment.
“It’s okay.” She repeats when he returns to the present, her eyes glistening with the too-ready tears, the echo of his pain inspiring an ache in her that both distracts her from and blends so well with her own. These words are such a small comfort, maybe it isn’t nearly enough, but it feels true and she hopes that counts for something like they had for her when he spoke them.
Her heart is racing again as his mouth moves down her neck. She wouldn’t be able to say whether it was his words or that touch that inspires the way she trembles against him or the breathless sound of her words when she finds them “And now you are.” It still doesn’t feel entirely real, the way a smile tugs at her mouth or that thrill in her heart at the idea of a we that was her and Firion.
There are darker things too but Mazikeen will not give them attention. She doesn’t want to know why she feels guilty for this piece of happiness.
There is something she has not said yet, and it comes from her now. “Thank you, Firion.” And before can ask what for, she moves her head to find his golden gaze and tells him earnestly “For saving me.”
@firion