[private] and i know its long gone

[lilliana]

I SEE THE LIGHT BUT NEVER FIND THE SURFACE /
I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN SWIM NO MORE /
WHITE KNUCKLES AND WILD HORSES /
ONE DAY WE'LL WASH UP ON MERCY'S SHORE /

Lilliana had told no one what she intended.

To Nashua, she had only said that she couldn't remain in Taiga. The former Taigan had gotten herself trapped there, thinking that she and her children were too inconsequential for the Curse to come seeking them out. And that was a truth; after learning about the disappearance of Yanhua and his family, after coming to know that whatever had afflicted Wolfbane in another life had returned in this, she knew that she couldn't stay in Taiga.

Trapped was the only emotion for it, because she had left one fresh hell (to learn of the death of her brother, to have come so close to being reunited with her family) to return to this one.

She couldn't stay in Taiga when Ciri's accusations kept ringing inside her mind. You know, she had said, you know what it is. As if Lilliana was somehow responsible for the horrible things done to her - the torn skin, the broken bones. As if there might have been more that she might have done to prevent it from coming back, from preventing what had happened to her. The Thane's voice had replayed across her memories in the days after and each time that she heard Ciri's voice, Neverwhere and her deep scars would appear.

Something else that was her fault.

Those images are still in her mind - as well a heavy sense of guilt - when she hears a voice behind her. She had hoped that her quiet demeanor - an ability to go unnoticed in a crowd - might have offered some aid in her search for her dappled friend. Lilliana lifts her blue eyes to the strange creature and despite his horns or the talons, he so strongly resembles two of the horses that have haunted her most. It's easy to find the bold lines of Wolfbane in his shimmering blue face when she had found him so often in Nashua and Yanhua, and that had been something that she had expected (especially after knowing his other sons, Pteron, Tiercel, Elio, and Wherewolf).

Lepis stares sternly out at her, and Lilliana swallows, hard.

"I'm looking for someone," she tells the strange beast, determined to calm her racing heart.

@Gale

marcy's shore - needtobreathe
image credit to footybandit