[private] lonely in the cold nights, maze

[Selaphiel]

selaphiel

these days i don’t pray when i close my eyes

Her words are weapons and they elicit exactly the reaction she hopes they might.

His eyes drift closed without his willing them to do so. He draws in a staggered breath while his head swims. He does not have to imagine the things Gale has done to her, he can feel it in the tightness in his chest and the burning in his eyes. He can feel it in the death he’d tried and failed to prevent because it lives inside him, too. 

She is still in there, Maze, he knows that now but the thought does not offer him any comfort now. Because it had been Maze who’d suffered for them. To keep them. To protect them. Even though she stands before him now, trying to convince him that the whole lot of them are worthless.

He forces his eyes open again and steadily meets her gaze when she says that she no longer wants to kill Gale. He shakes his head but does not open his mouth to argue. He imagines the pair of them setting fire to Hyaline, reducing it to ashes. Mazikeen and Gale. But there is no fear in him when he thinks it. He will burn with it.

“Burn it down then,” he says, as if hoping to call her bluff. He lifts his head, looking down at the fearsome creature she has made herself into. “Burn it down yourself, Mazikeen.” As if there is honor in this. “You are not a pawn.”

And, because he knows that she will not relent until she succeeds in driving him away, he turns to walk away. 

I just bite my tongue a bit harder

@Mazikeen