The distance set between them feels unfathomably large and made even larger still by the way that her own emotions ricochet off every rock and branch. The way that they seem to echo and grow in size with every heartbeat, rippling through the air and then coming back to her, taking root in her chest and expanding. She wants to name each one but she finds that she cannot. There are no names for what she feels, nothing but confusion and warmth, something bitter followed by something sweet.
It is open and yearning, her young heart sinking its teeth into every moment.
She flushes again when he calls her good company and shakes her lovely head, knowing that it was nothing but a kindness that he was extending her—a kindness that she did not deserve, not when she was being so confusing with him. But how could she explain this? How could she tell him that her heart iced over when her father died and she was doing everything possible to hold onto the warmth? How could she tell him how she wandered and did not find home? Did not find truth? Did not find peace?
How could she put it into words?
How dare she even try?
So she doesn’t. She just smiles at him and thinks of how handsome he has grown to be, the angelic lines of his face shooting warmth through her. A heat she has never grappled with before. “I don’t think so,” she laughs again, embarrassed as she shakes her head. “But I’m trying and I think that counts for something.” She shuffles her feet, not noticing the way that the ice grows along her spine, the jagged lines of it catching the faint light. “Would you like to take a walk with me? I think that might help.”
@Selaphiel