[private] we could all be brought to pieces

[Altissima]

Altissima had spent a good amount of time sleeping this autumn, which was incredibly unlike her. She was more at peace here in Loess, it’s true, but this was something else. It’d happened once before, the sudden feeling of wanting to root herself in one spot and never move at all. She’d suspected it for a few days now but today she had woken up when Tarian had kissed her cheek farewell and suddenly she felt sure. She was pregnant. It really wasn’t that much of a surprise considering how they’d been spending their time together - and maybe it was a little her fault for coming back earlier than planned - but it was still a bit of a shock. They hadn’t discussed starting a family and those insecurities that are never too far away rise up once again to soil the happiness she feels. They chase her through nightmares and dreams as she dozes through the morning until her ears catch the sound of movement. He is being quiet, and she knows it is for her benefit, but she wastes no time in opening her eyes and training them on him. They are a pale blue with her worry, but the colour blends with violet - she’s not sure she’s capable of not being happy to see him. “Tarian.” And then she’s moving towards him, closing the gap until she can brush her muzzle against his silver skin. A few ways to delay this conversation flick through her mind but she fears if she doesn’t talk to him now, she might lose her nerve. And she needs to know what he thinks about this development.  “Have…” Her voice shakes and she realizes with some horror that her body is as well. Her wings appear at her sides, as though they could hold her together. Altissima hates this fear, hates how uncertain she could feel after a year with Tarian never letting her down once. But this? This was a little bit bigger than flowers and making sure to return from patrols. There’s really no subtle way to ask what she needs to know so she just asks right out - and maybe he’ll understand what's behind the blunt question as soon as the words are out. They come quietly when she pulls back enough so she can watch his face - her own eyes that same pale, worried blue as they remain locked on his. “Have you ever thought about being a dad?” She wouldn’t blame him if he had no intention of ever bringing children into the uncertainty of whether he will be hunted, and if that meant any children would be too. He had been upfront with her about it - though it was already too late by that point. She was already caught up in him, even if she would have said otherwise. Altissima tries to get a handle on her thoughts, especially the uncharitable ones that try to guess his reaction. Part of her is already making plans, but she won’t run. She’d promised herself that time and time again since they reunited - not when she had discovered she loved him, not now.

artwork by cal

@Tarian