There is a pause before he answers her, knowing what he does now – what her daughter has done for her.
(He will think, later, on the irony of this – how they have gone to the same magician with their pleas, how she has removed and put back memories on the both of them.)
“Yes,” he says, “it’s better, to know who I am. What I’ve done.”
And it is. Even as he’s seen these sins unravel, he knows, at least, that they are a core part of him. An ugly, rotting part, perhaps – but still part of him. He would not want to go about his life without knowing what he has done, because he must be repentant for it, he must be better than he was.
This is not to say he judges her at all for what she did. He is glad she has done it. He is used to pain – he will always hurt, he thinks – but he knows now that he would die to keep her happy. An excision from her memory in exchange for her happiness is a wonderful bargain.
(He thinks she is happy. He hopes.)
She begins to move, and he follows without hesitation. It’s risky, probably – he doesn’t know how to act anymore, doesn’t know how to behave like someone who is not in love with her – but he is helpless before her. It is a familiar feeling, and he thinks it’s worth it, the knowledge of his sins, because he knows things like this, too.
“No,” he says, when she asks if he’s been here before, “I was always a nomad. The only kingdom I knew was the Deserts, and they’re long gone.”
He’s glad for this. He’s glad that that particular place can only exist in his memories.
“It’s a lovely place, though,” he says, though truth he told, he hasn’t noticed much of it. But any place where she’s present is a lovely place.
“Do you visit here often?” he asks, a banal question, but it’s either that or say once you saw me in the deserts, saw the worst part of me, and you spoke to me about forgiveness and maybe that’s when I first loved you or maybe it was before that, even, and of course he can’t say that, but maybe she knows about the deserts and maybe that’s enough.
@Agetta i am absolutely a little drunk so if this doesn't make sense holler at me