there's fire in your blood
 | Confusion sweeps through her when he steps back, when he smiles as he does it, and Mazikeen does not realize she’s being toyed with. It would have made her growl, once, would have turned her into a beacon of fire - but now she simply follows him as he leads her away from the lake and thinks about how she could fall asleep at every step.
She finds she is only capable of focusing on one thing, so she chooses his touch. His words, his plans, filter through her exhaustion and they do not stick and she thinks this is probably for the better. She'll do whatever he asks anyway, she does not need to know beforehand. But she closes her dull orange eyes to savour the way her skin twitches beneath his attention, her heart rate picking up when there is more fever to his movements. Mazikeen tries to get herself to move, to touch him back, but her returning touches are ghosting and light in comparison.
Enough that she is not just standing there lifelessly, but there is no energy left in her and she feels bad about it. He deserves more from her, doesn’t she? In the haze of her exhausted mind, this thought lingers.
Mazikeen is idly toying with the mane that goes down his spine when she loses that first emotion and she stills, blinking a few times. She feels… lighter. And though she does not understand what he is doing, she associates this lightness with him so she presses a little closer - wanting more of whatever is happening.
The first thing she loses, the one that burns at the shadows as it is removed, is her love. The one that is at the surface of everything she does and covers all the rest. That fierce heart of hers that burns for everyone she meets, that inspires her to die and protect and kill. Every moment her affection burned a little brighter for someone else still exists in her memory but she is disconnected from them now.
And Mazikeen cannot remember why she was so worried about everyone, why she spent so much time worrying about them. They can take care of themselves. And it is not up to her to save them if they won’t.
When shame also disappears, her touch on his skin becomes a little more real - delighting in watching the lightning snake from his body to hers, wondering when it had shown up or if she is hallucinating. The love she had felt for this golden stallion may be gone but the lust remains untouched for now. Her eyes start to drift closed, though, because she is no longer concerned about trying to stay awake for him.
She is hollowed out again but this time not in self-defence - this time, more effectively. And eventually, Mazikeen’s eyes do not flutter open and her touch on his skin stops because, while not fully asleep, there is nothing of any substance racing through her mind and nothing that she wants. She is a shell of herself and she does not even have the capacity to think about how nice it is to finally be at peace.
m a z i k e e n . |
@  Gale
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