06-15-2021, 08:47 PM
There is enough common sense in this still-learning mind that she does not tell him that she had, in fact, enjoyed it. That it wasn’t often her mother, the other, allowed her to take the heart for herself and that it had been a special pleasure - an honour - whenever it happened. A sign that she had done something right in the hunt.
These thoughts rise up and they twist her stomach. The stars around her seem to grow more excited in their orbits and Nostromo feels their mocking, believes that they are entertained by the distress that rolls through her.
His confusion over her warning is understandable, though she grieves for it too - uncomfortable with the knowledge that she is not someone to be trusted because she does not deserve to be trusted. Certainly not by him.
The answer to his question comes easily though, one of the truths she knows for certain. “I do not want it to happen again.” This mare has learned a lot since having her mind unlocked but the name for some emotions elude her. She does not know that it is guilt that plagues her, for example. Does not know that is why she finds it hard to breathe, or why she flinches when she catches sight of the starry souls that orbit her. The feeling is there, thick and all-consuming, but just as she could not figure out the right syllables to string together an apology, she does not know the easiest way to explain to answer his question.
But she wants to answer him, so she tries to get as close to describing the feeling inside of her as she can. “I am… I do not like that it happened the first time.” Her dark gaze doesn't stray from his face, so desperately full of hope that these words make sense. Though she knows better than to hope that they will absolve her of what she's done, regardless of whether he is alive or not.
These thoughts rise up and they twist her stomach. The stars around her seem to grow more excited in their orbits and Nostromo feels their mocking, believes that they are entertained by the distress that rolls through her.
His confusion over her warning is understandable, though she grieves for it too - uncomfortable with the knowledge that she is not someone to be trusted because she does not deserve to be trusted. Certainly not by him.
The answer to his question comes easily though, one of the truths she knows for certain. “I do not want it to happen again.” This mare has learned a lot since having her mind unlocked but the name for some emotions elude her. She does not know that it is guilt that plagues her, for example. Does not know that is why she finds it hard to breathe, or why she flinches when she catches sight of the starry souls that orbit her. The feeling is there, thick and all-consuming, but just as she could not figure out the right syllables to string together an apology, she does not know the easiest way to explain to answer his question.
But she wants to answer him, so she tries to get as close to describing the feeling inside of her as she can. “I am… I do not like that it happened the first time.” Her dark gaze doesn't stray from his face, so desperately full of hope that these words make sense. Though she knows better than to hope that they will absolve her of what she's done, regardless of whether he is alive or not.
NOSTROMO
@[Cassian]