06-09-2021, 08:49 PM
I slip from tree to tree, sucking down air in thick gasps. My shoulder aches where a bruise is blooming. Couldn't keep my mouth shut, as usual, and also as usual I've paid the price. Coming down into a low point of the dry riverbed, I come to a stop, leaning on a weather worn boulder.
"You'd think I'da learned to keep my mouth shut by now," I sniffed to no one, pressing my skull into the rock until the ache eases slightly. As I have a hundred times before, I wonder why I'm still here. Where my very existence is an affront and a disappointment. Why don't I leave, why didn't I do it the first time I realized I could?
And for the hundred and first time I defy myself, convince myself, that just because she doesn't care for me, doesn't mean I can't love her. Worry for her. "It's not her fault she's the way she is," I protest the very air. Talking to myself. Its another facet that she can't stand about me, but one I can't shake. I have things to say, you see. Even if there's no one who'll listen.
Flexing and stretching the soreness of my shoulder, I shake my head and straighten up again. I've got to keep moving, to keep the stiffness at bay. Tomorrow will be rough but for today, all I want to do is stay out of the way.
@wilt quite possibly trash sad girl words
"You'd think I'da learned to keep my mouth shut by now," I sniffed to no one, pressing my skull into the rock until the ache eases slightly. As I have a hundred times before, I wonder why I'm still here. Where my very existence is an affront and a disappointment. Why don't I leave, why didn't I do it the first time I realized I could?
And for the hundred and first time I defy myself, convince myself, that just because she doesn't care for me, doesn't mean I can't love her. Worry for her. "It's not her fault she's the way she is," I protest the very air. Talking to myself. Its another facet that she can't stand about me, but one I can't shake. I have things to say, you see. Even if there's no one who'll listen.
Flexing and stretching the soreness of my shoulder, I shake my head and straighten up again. I've got to keep moving, to keep the stiffness at bay. Tomorrow will be rough but for today, all I want to do is stay out of the way.
@wilt quite possibly trash sad girl words