Help me out before I drown
Save me now before I give up
There were two of them, perfect twins. A boy and a girl. She was the spitting image of his father, Magnus. The other looking more like himself. They were little beacons of hope, a sign of a life that was just within his grasp. And he, the starved man, greedily drank in their love, their open acceptance. It hadn’t been enough time. He hadn’t gotten enough time.
Life had once again chosen to be cruel.
In the deepest part of his chaotic rage after returning from the Mountain, reeling from Ellyse’s betrayal and unable to escape the snare of his mind, was when he had found Cress again. Carnage had begun to break him but it was Ellyse that had driven the final nail home, hammering his fate and hers as well. He had been left in a dark cage of madness. Desperate to escape but lacking the will to do so with the vapid glass heart that hung strangely in his chest.
Cress had understood that pain, that torture. She had endured a round in Carnage’s lair. She knew the icy bite of steel bars, of the putrid stink of the shadowed cave, the nightmares they were forced to play out for a Dark God’s amusement. In a moment of need, a moment of craving some sort of touch that remind him that he was real even though the ghosts around him declared him not.. Cress. She had deserved better than him. Better then a tortured soul that sought to forget in the pleasure from her skin but only found himself emptier than before.
He had no idea that she had become pregnant. That a third perfect child existed. Another child he ultimately had failed in life. Another failure to add to the ones already burdened on his sharply jutted shoulders.
He can also recall the time when he had lost his shifting. He had been sure the bear was a curse, a plague on his life to torture him with forever. The brand mockingly etched on his flank like a warning label. He had hated what he had become. But when he couldn’t reach the Bear, that spark of power, it had been harder to let go than he had realized. The bear was he and he was the bear. Their fates intertwined, fused, made one. There was no living without the beast afterwards, when magic had returned. It’s the guilt that eats at him the most, would things have been different if he had given it up? Would anything play out differently if he had been stripped of the bear? Or was this the punishment of his selfishness, his unwillingness to let go of the power the bear gave him.
Loess has become home, she has become home, but he still finds himself making trips back to the Meadow. Old habits die hard and he still likes to spend evenings watching the others, hearing the snippets of conversation that make this place so popular. Getting lost in a crowd. A face appears amongst the others and he is quick to do a double take, his one dark eye brightening with recognition. She calls out a greeting and he murmurs to himself, “Cress?”
No, it can’t be. There were many familiar features to this mare, he realizes as she comes closer, but it’s not Cress. The blaze is missing, the ears are whole. How eerily similar she seems to her though. He can’t help the confusion that lingers on his face although he still gives a smile in return to her greeting. “I’m sorry, you look a lot like someone I use to know.” He pauses for a moment, trying to regain his senses. “I should have started with hello.” He laughs softly in his rough voice. “Let me start again. Hello, I’m Ledger. Who are you?”
Ledger
@[Dawn] <3