You might think that our universal translators would be, y'know, universal enough that Lavfrogians wouldn't have to wear one pinned to their shirts, but despite this being the 24th or 27th or 20-whateverth century, they just aren't. Don't ask me why, you see this uniform? It ain't blue so I don't science. All I know is that speaking with Huggy is a slow affair. Lucky for him he's the best goddamn first officer I ever had, and he certainly never outshines me in the looks department. The same can't be said for this weaselly little doctor.
Being the best I mean.
Because he's really not, and he's also not attractive enough to still be in my shot.
"Doctor O'Cet, this is all quite unnecessary. Why don't you go check on some of those redshirts. I'm pretty sure at least one of them isn't dead."
(This is a lie, I can see that they're all dead, but oh my god man get out of my good light!)
"Huggy, did you say horses? With hands?"
If you know anything about Starfleet, you know you don't make Captain if you don't love horses. It's literally in my contract. Section 9, line 40, initial here. I gotta see these handshorses.
"Lead the way, my man!"
Huglava is an imposing, if awkward figure. It's the head, I think, I mean he's basically shaped like an icecream cone, it's amazing that he even manages to stand up. He's just a mouth with some legs attached, but it doesn't do him any harm with the ladies. Unfortunately for them, he's been known to eat them after a date. And no, I don't mean like the sexy way, I mean he literally eats them.
And you thought I was the one causing the scandals, right?
L M A O
A whole fucking humanoid adult shouldn't fit inside another, slightly larger, humanoid adult, but here we are.
Anyway, the horses. Huggy leads a small group of us to a ridgeline and points down to where a couple herds have gathered alongside a small creek. There's a pair of stallions slap-fighting. It's the least intimidating thing I've ever seen in my life. After Dr. O'Cet, of course.
"Are they... intelligent?"
Being the best I mean.
Because he's really not, and he's also not attractive enough to still be in my shot.
"Doctor O'Cet, this is all quite unnecessary. Why don't you go check on some of those redshirts. I'm pretty sure at least one of them isn't dead."
(This is a lie, I can see that they're all dead, but oh my god man get out of my good light!)
"Huggy, did you say horses? With hands?"
If you know anything about Starfleet, you know you don't make Captain if you don't love horses. It's literally in my contract. Section 9, line 40, initial here. I gotta see these handshorses.
"Lead the way, my man!"
Huglava is an imposing, if awkward figure. It's the head, I think, I mean he's basically shaped like an icecream cone, it's amazing that he even manages to stand up. He's just a mouth with some legs attached, but it doesn't do him any harm with the ladies. Unfortunately for them, he's been known to eat them after a date. And no, I don't mean like the sexy way, I mean he literally eats them.
And you thought I was the one causing the scandals, right?
L M A O
A whole fucking humanoid adult shouldn't fit inside another, slightly larger, humanoid adult, but here we are.
Anyway, the horses. Huggy leads a small group of us to a ridgeline and points down to where a couple herds have gathered alongside a small creek. There's a pair of stallions slap-fighting. It's the least intimidating thing I've ever seen in my life. After Dr. O'Cet, of course.
"Are they... intelligent?"
@[avocet]