[open] Get Sorted into your Harry Trotter house [Chaos Week]

[Calcifer]

“BLLLEEERRRGGH” The sorting hat throws up immediately after being put onto Obscene’s head. “Your blood alcohol content is well above the legal limit, and *yet* the vibe remains. Interesting.” It ruminates, chewing on his homemade haircut. “TEPHRA!” It finally screams. “TO THE VOLCANO WITH YOU.”

Mobscene is next. The sorting hat narrows its folds like it’s trying to think, but really it’s just concerned about the amount of heat damage inside and out of that particular skull. “The stripes in your hair: whack. The bow clips: whack. The amount of hair spray you’re using to starch your wig into place: whack.” It coughs. “SILVER COVE!” It shouts. “The sands are as black as your soul.”

@[Obscene]