Help me out before I drown
Save me now before I give up
He’s drawn into her molten honeyed gaze and he forces his own away from her face, watching the way a lavender lock curls gently against the hollow of her neck. Wondering if the scent of her hair would be similar to her color, if he tugged gently on that strand and burrowed himself into the softness of it and of her. It surprises him how much he very much wants to do those things. His lips tighten with that sudden desire to be close to her but he easily beats it back by remembering that he had once done the same with another. Had whispered lovely things when pressed against feathered wings and the curve of delicate skin.
Oceane had been quiet as he struggled with these conflicting thoughts, as cool and collected as she had been throughout. He never would have guessed that she was as lost as he was in her memories and her own uncertainty regarding him. He figures she’s just processing the vague hints and realizing what a waste of time this is. What a waste of time he is. Someone like her surely has better things to do. Someone like her surely has a put together family that’s waiting for her, has someone that she whispers her own lovely things to at night. The bear within him is getting exasperated, wanting to come out. Arguing that maybe this time would be different. Ledger refuses him, refuses himself. Refuses to relinquish what little control he has left.
If he had known everything that she had experienced already, he would have told her.. No demand that she leave him be. That he was nothing but a ticking time-bomb and certainly not worth the risk. Yet that pesky hope still lingers, especially when she still makes no move to leave. When she still tries to push for more information. He sighs softly, letting his mask slip just a little. The lines of exhaustion on his face, the haunted look that dims in the hollow of his eye. “One that hurts people.” The words quiet and resigned.
When she still offers Loess, offers him his own private sanctuary, he can’t help but look at her with slight disbelief. Searching the lines of her face as she mentally seems to check in with herself, thinking. “Why?” The word just comes out before he can think twice about it. “You’re not obligated to help me Oceane.” The hope flutters around his glass heart, making it feel weirder then usual. He shifts with discomfort, unsure about this new sensation that could be threatening to his crystal crux and therefore possibly life ending. Once he had wanted to die, had tried to drown himself over and over again in the ocean waters that had beckoned him. Where the ghost of his father called for him to find peace. It was the bear that saved him over and over again and he couldn’t understand why. Once he had wanted to die but now… Now he’s not sure what he wants.
Realizing that his words might have come off harsher then he intended, he tries to amend it. “It’s just… As tempting as that is…You barely know me. And I wouldn’t want to get you in trouble.” Still searching her features, looking for some hint to her reasoning. Trying to find some excuse to deny her. Because it was very tempting. She had made a good point, he probably was more of a risk to himself and others here where the population was larger and the triggers were endless. Despite the overall logic, what tempts him the most is the thought of being able to see her again. Ledger no, this is too dangerous. He had promised himself… He had promised after Ellyse had shattered him that he would never ever again let himself feel for another being. And with the fragile thing in his chest that refused to beat, what could happen if it fractured again? And yet… And yet…
Ledger
@[Oceane]