Help me out before I drown
Save me now before I give up
It’s been a few days now since the light had returned. The warmth of a summer sun heats the land and encourages new life to spring from the decay the endless dark had ravaged during its relentless reign. Years ago, the grass of the meadow would tickle his underbelly with its length, now it barely reached his hocks but it strained towards the light and he knows that in a few months, things should be normal again. Everything would go back to the way it had been before. He wishes it could be that simple for him.
Returning to Beqanna, returning to the living and leaving the graveyard of his past, was a choice that he was slowly adapting to. He had known it wouldn’t be easy but life wasn’t easy. Had never been easy, not for him. It’s been harder than he had anticipated though. He had hoped that letting go of Ellyse and everything that had happened would have been enough closure. Yet the weight was still heavy, his glass heart was still hanging in his chest. Heavy yet vapid. Cracked. He still remembers the deal that Carnage had offered him on the Mountain. A heart in exchange for your own. He had tried, tried and failed to complete the task, so desperate and mad and grief-stricken. (“You’re not a killer Ledger”, ghost Magnus had once whispered to him knowingly. So what am I? WHAT AM I?) Perhaps he would never get it back. Maybe it was easier this way… to feel that absence in his chest instead of the constant ache of pain and betrayal. To never be hurt like that again. Perhaps it would be better this way, to keep everyone at arm’s length. He’s not sure what would even happen, if he was to ever feel anything like love again. Love or heartbreak, if it might shatter completely. He still remembers the excruciating pain when it had cracked before, when he had been on his knees bleeding and confessing all his sins to her.
With a hard swallow, he shakes the remains of his devastated face, the empty socket hidden beneath a mass of snowy forelock as he forces those images to the back of his mind. Not today. He refuses to have another bad day. Not when the sun is so bright in the sky and the heat does its best to bring warmth to his cold body. He found he was always cold now and he preferred a cool environment. Perhaps it was the preference of his polar bear or perhaps it had something to do with the replacement heart that did not beat or bleed. Technically not having a pulse would make one dead so being chilly all the time seemed fitting. His heavily scarred body moves easily across the meadow, hooves digging into the mulch as he heads to the largest willow tree that stands rooted close to the middle of the territory. His brands seem to soak up the rays greedily as he moves from its blazing touch into the shade. He had noticed that the brands seemed to glow more brightly at night when he had spent some time in the sun. A soft sigh escapes his lips, would this place ever stop being so weird and chaotic? Would it ever just be calm and peaceful… God could it ever just be kind?
It is a quiet and thoughtful Ledger that stands beneath the willow, the gold flecks of his only eye regarding the few strangers that pass by with his usual wariness. Without anyone to interact with though, his mind crawls back to keep him company. In no time at all, he’s haunted all over again.
Ledger
I just want to treat you better
@[Oceane] <3