Mazikeen is, momentarily, too busy sorting out her thoughts to reply to his words - the accusation that she was only thinking about herself - her sad smile traded for a frown that deepens as he speaks. There’s something a little thrilling about his frustration, though Mazikeen doesn’t let herself dwell on those thoughts for too long. Best not to think of the flutter of delight in her stomach as her own outburst is matched with one of his own. Just as she tries to ignore the echo of his words about how when he thinks of her, he forgets about everything else.
He doesn’t mean it she tells herself, though even her cruellest thoughts on the matter lack conviction now.
She stands still on the sand, the dripping of water from her accidental-swim the only movement as the face-off continues.
How could this not be about her, at least in part, when it affected her life? Insecurities attempt to worm into her mind, telling her if she was stronger he wouldn’t be so worried about keeping her away, but Mazikeen won’t give in to those thoughts and the pile of things she is not confronting grows and grows.
Was she being selfish, wanting to stay? It didn’t feel any more selfish than the fact that he wanted to make things easier on himself by keeping her away. No, she was sure she wasn’t (just) being selfish. She really believed this made the most sense - whatever the Curse involved, she could keep Gale from hurting anyone else. And whatever lay between them might muddy the waters but that simple fact was true. His own determination to keep her away was enough proof that he'd be dangerous. And if he did hurt her - better that than anyone else.
She’s thinking about how unfair this all is when she recognizes one of the emotions underlying her thoughts, one that she thought she had successfully squashed when Gale had left Hyaline and she felt stupid and weak in his wake. Hope. The damning feeling that she simply was not ready to give up on him and she didn’t want him to give up either. An utterly inconvenient emotion but true enough to dig its roots into her now that she’s looked at it face-on.
Before she can try to respond, Gale speaks again. Asking her to leave. She won’t, of course. And - well - there is the minor detail that she doesn’t know if her shadow wings will even return to her. She certainly doesn’t want to just go swimming about in the darkness and either eventually hit Tephra or drown somewhere lost at sea. So she can’t really leave right now either - though she doesn’t bother with these excuses.
Looking at him, she feels like she could burst into flames at any moment and would enjoy every moment of it. Thrill is at war with anger as a delightful, anticipatory calm spreads across her entire body. Except for her damn heart, beating so wildly she suspects that’s where the fire will catch first, for better or worse. Something flashes in her orange eyes when she speaks, her voice quiet but strong. A dare as the corner of her mouth twitches ever so slightly.
“Make me.”
@[Gale]