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Mazikeen is effectively distracted from the thoughts of how she wishes Gale had come right over to her when his talk of sour apples washes over her and she shakes her head with a smaller laugh. It’s difficult to feel slighted about the distance (or to wonder whether she had imagined any closeness at all) when his enthusiasm bubbles through the darkness. She is surprised by his casual comment about this shape of hers being his favourite as he stops and Mazikeen does not know what to say in response. That was, after all, what her entire quest was about - wasn’t it? The thing she had such a difficult time grappling with just got stated with such ease.
She wants to ask why.
And she’s just about to when he continues. Gale declares that he can turn into a whole osprey and asks if she’d like to see with such happiness that it hurts to hear. Mazikeen hates that she’s not filled with pure joy and pride for him in return. There is some but it is twisting and turning in her gut with jealousy and sadness. There should really be a limit on how many emotions can be going through one mind at any one time, shouldn’t there?
How fun would it have been for them both to be ospreys and soar through the mountains together? She wants to share this with him - especially because he seems so excited - and the knowledge that it’s her own fault that she cannot is a bitter taste in the back of her throat.
Thinking about flying hurts almost as much as it had to instinctively reach for her shifting and be reminded that it is not there.
She’s now thankful for the distance and hopes like hell it means he cannot see the angry tears swimming in her eyes while she mentally screams at them to get back in her body. She's been quiet too long now, hasn't she? She feels slow and dumb compared to his happiness, too wrapped up in her own thoughts. Her first attempt to speak comes out as more of a strangled croak and she clears her throat before putting as much enthusiasm as she can drum up into the words. “Of course! Show me."
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