01-06-2021, 09:12 PM
despite the overwhelming odds, tomorrow came
I watch as father and daughter share a touch, and deep down, it hurts to watch, because I wish it were him and I sharing such a loving greeting. Alas, things were still tense between us, as much as I wanted things to be normal. Even so, I am happy to see him, so I don’t let the little pang of jealousy overcome my emotions. Instead, I wait patiently for my own greeting.
In that short moment, I recognize the golden wisps sprouting from his back. It is a very brief glance before @[Yanhua] lifts his head and blocks them from view, but I could tell they were wings. How curious, I thought. And then I wondered if this was a new gift or one that just hadn’t shown itself before now. If it was an old gift, one that he had when him and I had created Memorie, I wonder if she, too, shares this gift? I shift my eyes to her, as if searching for the little wisps sprouting from her back, but there are none…yet.
The stallion captures my attention once more with a greeting. He says that I look peaceful. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but I smile warmly. Well, as warmly as I can. I am still nervous and unsure of myself. Memorie doesn’t have to use her gift to understand that, and she brushes against my shoulder softly. I smile down at her, and she gives me a look that clearly asks if I wanted her to stay. “You can run along and play, little love,” I say. She gives me a hesitant smile, then turns to her father and gives his chest a quick brush with her shoulder before she turns and trots away to give me and her father some time to ourselves.
I watch as she goes. She is getting bigger and bigger every day, and soon the time would come when she stopped coming home to me at night. She would have to make her own way in this world. And while she is more than ready for that, I’m not sure I am. My heart aches at the thought.
With a soft sigh, I turn my attention back to Yanhua. I feel like an awkward teenager right now, and suddenly I wish I hadn’t sent Memorie away. She had been my rock these past few months, anchoring me firmly in reality where my demons had less control. Who was the parent here? My thoughts laugh silently at this.
As much as I would love Memorie to be here to help me through this, it was something I needed to do for myself. I shift uncomfortably, unsure of what to say to him exactly. “Hi,” I say again. This makes me feel stupid, and if a horse could blush, I most certainly would be doing just that. What I really wanted to say was that I’d missed him. What I really wanted was for him to greet me as warmly as he had our daughter. I wanted to feel his touch again. I wanted to be close again. I miss having that. But I couldn’t bring myself to ask for any of that, so instead, I ask, “how are you?”
In that short moment, I recognize the golden wisps sprouting from his back. It is a very brief glance before @[Yanhua] lifts his head and blocks them from view, but I could tell they were wings. How curious, I thought. And then I wondered if this was a new gift or one that just hadn’t shown itself before now. If it was an old gift, one that he had when him and I had created Memorie, I wonder if she, too, shares this gift? I shift my eyes to her, as if searching for the little wisps sprouting from her back, but there are none…yet.
The stallion captures my attention once more with a greeting. He says that I look peaceful. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but I smile warmly. Well, as warmly as I can. I am still nervous and unsure of myself. Memorie doesn’t have to use her gift to understand that, and she brushes against my shoulder softly. I smile down at her, and she gives me a look that clearly asks if I wanted her to stay. “You can run along and play, little love,” I say. She gives me a hesitant smile, then turns to her father and gives his chest a quick brush with her shoulder before she turns and trots away to give me and her father some time to ourselves.
I watch as she goes. She is getting bigger and bigger every day, and soon the time would come when she stopped coming home to me at night. She would have to make her own way in this world. And while she is more than ready for that, I’m not sure I am. My heart aches at the thought.
With a soft sigh, I turn my attention back to Yanhua. I feel like an awkward teenager right now, and suddenly I wish I hadn’t sent Memorie away. She had been my rock these past few months, anchoring me firmly in reality where my demons had less control. Who was the parent here? My thoughts laugh silently at this.
As much as I would love Memorie to be here to help me through this, it was something I needed to do for myself. I shift uncomfortably, unsure of what to say to him exactly. “Hi,” I say again. This makes me feel stupid, and if a horse could blush, I most certainly would be doing just that. What I really wanted to say was that I’d missed him. What I really wanted was for him to greet me as warmly as he had our daughter. I wanted to feel his touch again. I wanted to be close again. I miss having that. But I couldn’t bring myself to ask for any of that, so instead, I ask, “how are you?”
borderline
