11-21-2020, 03:16 AM
She thinks of him, as she always does, but recently it has been different. Usually he is a thought constantly at the back of her mind, and she can find all sorts of ways to numb the sharpness of it. She has always been good at distractions, and of course she tries to find any way to not have to face an emotion she doesn’t even have a name for.
It was impossible, though, when she touched her daughter’s throat and is reminded of her own being torn on the mountain.
It was impossible when she meets a stranger in Tephra and hears a story of death and being brought back that could so closely mimic one of their own.
And so she is left with something that cannot be ignored, with a tension that once again tightens and coils inside of her and lodges itself inside the cavern of her chest. Her heart beats itself raw against it but the thing is unyielding, and for the first time in a long time, Hyaline begins to feel claustrophobic. And then, alongside that twisted, unnamed emotion, there is guilt that plants itself. It blooms at the thought of Atrox, and she hates herself for still being the same stupid girl with a heart that cannot be whole and content for hardly a moment.
She could be handed the entire world, she thinks, and still she would drop it the moment he called.
He is easy to find, not just because she is so accustomed to the darkness he leaves her in, but because that strange, magnetic pull is undeniable. It brings her to the meadow, with a pulse that already flutters impatiently, and she wonders why, after all this time, after all that has transpired, she does not hold the kind of fear for him that she should.
There is a whisper-like smile on the white of her lips, the light of her halo casting an amber glow against the two obsidian gemstones that rest where her eyes had once been. She had failed him the last time they were together, and she has not forgotten it. Even without such a punishment she would have remembered, so driven by that desperate need to please that she was. A need that was significantly amplified when it came to him. But the memory of it is what keeps her from reaching out to brazenly touch him the way she might have before, and instead she stands quiet, her delicate face nearly angled down when she says softly, “I didn’t know if you would actually be back.”
It was impossible, though, when she touched her daughter’s throat and is reminded of her own being torn on the mountain.
It was impossible when she meets a stranger in Tephra and hears a story of death and being brought back that could so closely mimic one of their own.
And so she is left with something that cannot be ignored, with a tension that once again tightens and coils inside of her and lodges itself inside the cavern of her chest. Her heart beats itself raw against it but the thing is unyielding, and for the first time in a long time, Hyaline begins to feel claustrophobic. And then, alongside that twisted, unnamed emotion, there is guilt that plants itself. It blooms at the thought of Atrox, and she hates herself for still being the same stupid girl with a heart that cannot be whole and content for hardly a moment.
She could be handed the entire world, she thinks, and still she would drop it the moment he called.
He is easy to find, not just because she is so accustomed to the darkness he leaves her in, but because that strange, magnetic pull is undeniable. It brings her to the meadow, with a pulse that already flutters impatiently, and she wonders why, after all this time, after all that has transpired, she does not hold the kind of fear for him that she should.
There is a whisper-like smile on the white of her lips, the light of her halo casting an amber glow against the two obsidian gemstones that rest where her eyes had once been. She had failed him the last time they were together, and she has not forgotten it. Even without such a punishment she would have remembered, so driven by that desperate need to please that she was. A need that was significantly amplified when it came to him. But the memory of it is what keeps her from reaching out to brazenly touch him the way she might have before, and instead she stands quiet, her delicate face nearly angled down when she says softly, “I didn’t know if you would actually be back.”
R y A t A h
and you can aim for my heart, go for blood
but you would still miss me in your bones
but you would still miss me in your bones
@[Carnage]