— I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night —
It is so easy for Agetta to blame herself. How many times can she carry a child she did not want, how many times can she be forced into motherhood? She stopped blaming the fathers several children ago, knew the fault rested with her and her alone. She could have fought harder, could have gotten away. Could have tried.
This time there is a hollowness to her sadness that does not have her seek out harm or death. She’s resigned, defeated, and desperate for hope. Maybe this child will bring it, maybe she will find it soon. There has to be hope for peace - one way or another.
The horror of the circumstances surrounding this girl’s conception only feeds that desperation.
Like many of Agetta’s children, Holler takes her first step beneath the stars. Soft tears fall as Agetta watches, gently guiding and helping where needed. She’s watching Holler but she’s seeing all her other children, remembering their first steps.
Dawn brings a new wonder as she sees the rainbow sheen to her newest daughter’s coat and she is touching her muzzle gently to it when she sees him from the corner of her eye. At first she feels the shame rise quick to choke her but Garbage has always a soothing effect on her, hasn’t he? It mostly dies away, although there is still some pain lingering. There always will be.
She doesn’t see any judgement in his orange eyes (though she does look for it) and it is easy for her to find a smile as she lifts her head to greet him, instinctively taking a step closer to close the gap between them. Just a step though - and then her courage gives out and uncertainty rises.
She happily focuses on the topic of her young daughter instead of giving her insecurities any attention. “Isn’t she? Her name is Holler.” Perhaps not as elegant as some other names, but Agetta's already growing fond of it. Fond of her.
And, speaking of names - an easy sort of teasing flash brightens her smile in the early morning light as she asks her next question (though her interest is, of course, utterly genuine). “How is Bad?”
@[garbage]