i'm never gonna feel that fire again

[Tantalize]

tantalize

infinity overhead

and i whisper, are you listening?

The fallen are numerous, they scatter across Beqanna in different shapes and sizes. But they all have that one thing in common, they have all fallen from grace in one way or another. The jaguar mare knows a thing or two about being a disgrace, when others look her way and whisper to each other. Bad things, curious things, confused things. Most don’t recognize her but think of her as another washed up old cat, a Grizabella of her time. She’s barely aged much and in the looks department she’s still quite stunning. The lack of her confidence, not knowing who or what she is anymore, is what makes her seem weathered.

She too had thought she couldn’t go back. But she did. Whatever courage she had left, she gathered. Whatever pride that remained, she swallowed. And back to the jungle she went, simply because she hoped it wouldn’t spit her back out. So far it hadn’t. Yet she was here in the Meadow. Most of her time was spent here now. The jungle wasn’t the same, she wasn’t the same. Lost cub in the body of an adult predator. Her golden eyes lacked spark, her spirit lacked purpose. It had been so long since she had been touched, since she had felt any range of emotions. It was definitely hard being in the jungle where she seemed to hover between reality and the past. Hard to not turn her head when someone called for the Khaleesi, the title still as familiar to her as her own name but it wasn’t hers to claim anymore. She hadn’t been the worse ruler to fall. At least she had built her kingdom to something, drudged it up from silence, before she had fallen silent herself. The time of her ruling was still sprinkled in the kingdom of now, the dothraki hierarchy for one thing. Yes, she had left her mark. She hadn’t been completely forgotten or worthless.

Returning to the jungle though…. It may have been a mistake. There was something coming, she could feel it, and maybe the tides would turn. For now, she considers the thought that she’s once again made a bad choice. All that really matters to her now is putting herself back together and confronting the past that had torn her apart to begin with. The Meadow is her solace, winter calling to her. So strange that she sought out the cold when she had spilt her blood for the heat. Of fire and brimstone they had said of her. But the cold was soothing. It reminded her of the boy of stone, the one that had first broken her heart. The very first piece of her puzzle that wouldn’t fit back together again. It’s been years since his death, his bones decaying along with his lovers on the sands of the beach. How odd that he can still have this effect on her. Lion is always pacing in the back of her mind as well, more absorbing than her granite man. He haunts her every step. Involuntarily, her muscles shudder at the thought of him. It’s taken her a long time to accept how much of a toll he had taken on her. They both hadn’t realized it.

Golden eyes search for a distraction, constantly wanting something to take her mind off these ghosts, and she sees him. A forlorn figure but what draws herself towards him is the expression on his face. She can’t place her finger on what exactly it is but she understands it. So with her prowling gait, she comes to him. ”Would you like company or would you rather be alone?” Maybe she should leave him be, after all she had quite the history of disappearing. As if he needed to meet someone else who could pull that vanishing act. Though she would do her best not to, not this time.