[private] and in my dreams i've kissed your lips a thousand times // oriash

[Kagerus]

and in my dreams...

i've kissed your lips a thousand times

"I tried -- and I failed." My chest aches as though I attack myself by speaking these honest words. Though I have nothing to gain by protecting my honour and my ego, those two self-same fixtures yet balk at my attempt at honesty. At vulnerability. At admitting my wrongdoings without rushing to justify them moments later. "I have no excuse, Oriash. Whatever explanation I have is not a justification for how I hurt you."

The silence hums.

"I can only hope that I can prove myself to you by way of my future actions, now. And that by those actions I can earn your trust and forgiveness."

My head lifts an inch, bolstered by the way she hadn't turn to run, hadn't rejected my outright, had taken the chance of revealing her identity (memories of Abysm rejecting me at every turn except to finally offer a stony tolerance plague me as I stand here, devoted to respecting the second child I'd failed as a mother). And when she reveals herself in her full grandeur, taking the shape and color of an aged version of the girl I so loved and cherished all those years ago, tears find their way to my eyes and cheeks. Her antlers grow taller and prouder even than my own had when I wore them; I feel humbled to be allowed in her presence. I smile through my tears, the expression warm and hopeful.

"You are as beautiful as I remember you," I allow, taking the chance of familiarity with she whom I have so hurt. "More. It feels like a dream to see you here and now." The smile I wear turns bittersweet, resembling very much the mixture of sadness and hope strewn across the face of the one opposite me. "And there's so much I wish I could have shared with you. I am so sorry that I failed to provide that for you then."

"I know it's -- soon -- but I wanted to tell you. Many members of your family -- our family -- reside in Tephra, now. Aunts, uncles, grandparents." I swallow. "New siblings. If you would ever want, I promise that we would be there to welcome you. For now though, just to see you and know you again is more than I could ever have hoped for."

kagerus

Enjoying Middle-Age in Tephra | Lover of Solace | Immortal, Dreamweaving Fantasist

@[Oriash]
sentimental kag is sentimental.