gold cage; hostage to my feelings; lilliana

[lilliana]

There is something about the way that Celina says not dead that makes her shiver. Not dead? Her use of the words - the eerily bright way she says it - unnerves the Taigan. The almost-white filly says this like a pleasant fact; like spring returning after a particularly hard winter or the waxing of the moon after the night sky has been dark for too long.

The younger mare almost sings it as she approaches. Until her green eyes drop to the swell of her copper sides and brusquely, Lilliana shifts her weight from one hip to another (as if that might hide her current condition), away from Celina’s prying eyes. "No,” she murmurs hesitantly, "I’m quite alive.”

Whatever earlier glee shining on her face vanishes and leaves all the sharp angles of her teeth glinting in the noon sun instead. There isn’t anything unkind on the younger girl’s face, not at first.

What the pale girl insinuates makes the thin line of her mouth press firmly downward before flatly retorting, "Do you?”

When the smile returns to Celina’s slim face adorned with all those serrated and jagged teeth, there is nothing of her earlier (haunting) luster. There is nothing warm for Lilliana to find. It is her oldest baby boy that has found something there instead and Lilli hates herself for all the warped parallels she finds. She had loved her brothers and sisters - how could she tell her own child to stay away from theirs?

(Lilliana had encouraged space, telling Nash that Celina probably preferred her solitude and silence. Nashua had always grinned and shook his head, telling her a story about herding minnows in the shallows for his sharp-toothed sister or explaining how once his wings grew big and strong enough, he planned on getting actual stars for her.)

"It doesn’t have to be like that,” and the red mare takes a defensive step back as her tail swishes, "you could tell Nashua that his Mother is fine. You could tell both my boys that I’m coming back. And soon.”

The how and why haven’t been figured out yet (and are they important, really?); all Lilliana knows is that no child of hers will be born in this forsaken place.