05-16-2020, 10:18 PM
She is a thousand broken hearts and the culmination of every wish thrown up into the whispering stars.
She is now and she is never, she is always and eternity, she is everything and she is nothing, and she is exactly right.
Before her eyes ever open, she experiences her very first lifetime. Time is meaningless, there is only nothing and the absence of nothing, and that absence of nothing grows beside her until time finds meaning and it is defined by the beat of his beautiful heart. Later, he will be her brother, he will be Indius, but for now there is only them, an entire world of just them and the blissful dark as they grow together. But he grows bigger and stronger, and she is so small beside him, her heartbeat a little echo in the empty intervals of thump thump. In here it doesn’t matter though. She is safe.
She isn’t ready when the time comes, isn’t done with this dark or the way mother keeps her so safe. But Indius is, and he leaves. It is the first time they’ve ever been apart in her timeless, ancient life and she riots. Or she thinks she does, but truly there is so little life in this delicate, fragile body, and all the fight in her is only that of her mother contracting around her. It feels like eons before anything changes, like a second lifetime until at last she learns what it is to exist, and everything that came before is gone forever.
She inhales, and the effort makes her feel odd and hazy, but she does it again and again until the rhythm reminds her of another from long ago, the rhythm of a heartbeat she doesn’t remember but still knows so intimately. Her sides heave, so small and bright and beautiful, and when she finally steadies enough to lift her little head, those navy eyes are so wide and full of gentle love.
Legs are the first thing she sees, momma’s legs all long and dark, shades of brown and black and white that absolutely dazzle her. Then she turns and sees mothers face next, and it’s such a nice face that she cannot help the way her little damp tail waggles behind her in delight. She feels stronger here in this place, like the longer she lay here, the easier it is to take breaths. But there is still something so important missing, and that delicate overo face abandons mothers’ as those navy eyes search for Indius. She knows him in that impossible way, in muscle memory, just as she knows how to breathe, how to live.
But where is he?
The world around her ripples as she peers about, not realizing he is simply behind her and resting peacefully while she learns what it means to be born within the dreamscape. To be at once both freed and trapped. Her little tail goes still, and her sides heave a little more again as she pulls on a power she doesn’t quite understand yet, one that comes so much more easily here than it might have in the waking world. She fusses and blinks, and then that boy is beside her, her boy, and the hazy ripples fade quietly from the world around her. She does not question how it is she brought him here to her side, only that it is good and right and she is content again as her gentle heart-thrum matches the stronger thump of his.
She is now and she is never, she is always and eternity, she is everything and she is nothing, and she is exactly right.
Before her eyes ever open, she experiences her very first lifetime. Time is meaningless, there is only nothing and the absence of nothing, and that absence of nothing grows beside her until time finds meaning and it is defined by the beat of his beautiful heart. Later, he will be her brother, he will be Indius, but for now there is only them, an entire world of just them and the blissful dark as they grow together. But he grows bigger and stronger, and she is so small beside him, her heartbeat a little echo in the empty intervals of thump thump. In here it doesn’t matter though. She is safe.
She isn’t ready when the time comes, isn’t done with this dark or the way mother keeps her so safe. But Indius is, and he leaves. It is the first time they’ve ever been apart in her timeless, ancient life and she riots. Or she thinks she does, but truly there is so little life in this delicate, fragile body, and all the fight in her is only that of her mother contracting around her. It feels like eons before anything changes, like a second lifetime until at last she learns what it is to exist, and everything that came before is gone forever.
She inhales, and the effort makes her feel odd and hazy, but she does it again and again until the rhythm reminds her of another from long ago, the rhythm of a heartbeat she doesn’t remember but still knows so intimately. Her sides heave, so small and bright and beautiful, and when she finally steadies enough to lift her little head, those navy eyes are so wide and full of gentle love.
Legs are the first thing she sees, momma’s legs all long and dark, shades of brown and black and white that absolutely dazzle her. Then she turns and sees mothers face next, and it’s such a nice face that she cannot help the way her little damp tail waggles behind her in delight. She feels stronger here in this place, like the longer she lay here, the easier it is to take breaths. But there is still something so important missing, and that delicate overo face abandons mothers’ as those navy eyes search for Indius. She knows him in that impossible way, in muscle memory, just as she knows how to breathe, how to live.
But where is he?
The world around her ripples as she peers about, not realizing he is simply behind her and resting peacefully while she learns what it means to be born within the dreamscape. To be at once both freed and trapped. Her little tail goes still, and her sides heave a little more again as she pulls on a power she doesn’t quite understand yet, one that comes so much more easily here than it might have in the waking world. She fusses and blinks, and then that boy is beside her, her boy, and the hazy ripples fade quietly from the world around her. She does not question how it is she brought him here to her side, only that it is good and right and she is content again as her gentle heart-thrum matches the stronger thump of his.
iridian
we are infinite as the universe we hold inside