It seemed impossible that so much time had fled been their meetings, and yet here they stood, Aquaria with two half grown sons and Lilli with new babes and the world on her slim shoulders. Her token of parental solidarity seemed to be just the ticket, the tiny fish and glittering sand enough to keep the flaxen boys fixated on the world beneath the waves. Her world, when it really came down to it.
"Nothing you won't get the hang of," she replied, smiling with equal measures of exhaustion and satisfaction. That was motherhood, wasn't it? Being pushed to the edge of reason, only to be brought back with a darling smile and a heart-melting "I love you!". It was more than she'd ever bargained for, in the best ways. Her only regret was that she'd done it alone. Sure, she'd had family and friends to lean on, but it wasn't the same as standing with your partner and watching your child play, whispering "we did that, we made this!" with that kind of glowing pride she wished she could share.
The subject turned, as it always does in good conversation, and Aquaria found herself searching a year back to the events that led to the long absence from the island. "It was only supposed to be a trip of a few days," she began, feeling almost defensive. What else could she have done though? "I made a friend, Oceane of Loess, and I and the boys were to visit, and then she and her own son were to return here with us for their own visit." If only it had gone that way.
She blinked at the vast horizon, at the dark ripple of land that was the mainland. She'd missed it here so badly. And still the conflict of her choice dogged her.
"Her son was stolen the night we arrived. I couldn't leave her there to worry by herself, and my youngest-" she bit her lip. "The foolish boy followed them. We got her son back, but they retaliated by taking Oceane and we couldn't leave her son on his own. He and Cormorant became good friends over the year we were there. By then, I-" she blinked hard, the debate seemingly not over inside her own head.
"It was either come home, or call Loess home, and I chose Ischia, for all of us. Cormorant is still angry over it, I think, but I couldn't turn my back on this place. Not forever." And still she wondered if she'd made the right choice. If Oceane were still rotting in Pangea, if Alcinder still looked for her on every dawning sky. If she'd betrayed them by leaving. Cormorant certainly seemed to think so, and she was deeply grateful that Halcyon seemed to have a broader view. So much of their childhoods had been intertwined with that far away kingdom, and it seemed like she'd done then a disservice by returning them home. To her home.
That was the story though, and she couldn't take back what was already done. She would have to live with these consequences, as she did with the others that haunted her.
What she said in answer to Lilli's question was nothing not truth, and it was truth that was drowning her. Her finned head shook with slow deliberation some moments after the copper mare replied, tone as neutral as she could make it. "No, I don't. And I think I've finally learned enough self respect that I'd send him off again even if he did." Oh, she hoped that was true. She hoped that if he ever did turn back up on her shores that she could look him in the eye and say enough was enough. What it cost her in happiness, at least let it save her in peace.
Her head was beginning to hurt behind her eyes, the weight of unshed tears demanding release. It wouldn't do though, not today. Not when her job as hostess and island hostess demanded she see to her guest's peace first and foremost. A sad little smile curved her pearly lips when Lilliana finally spoke, and it gave her grounding to know where they stood. To know what she could do.
Her muzzle reached to the burnished woman's shoulder, resting in light solidarity of the ache that pulsed through them both. Lovelorn, drifting, she could work with that when it wasn't her own heart on the line. "Stay here until you do." She murmured, eyes shut and still dreaming. "Eat good food, sleep in the sun, let your boys roam without worry. The world will be there for you when you return. And you don't have to return until your ready to face it." She chanted the words like a healing mantra, hoping Lilli would take them to heart. The island could heal, she believed that whole heartedly. It could heal anyone who wasn't already apart of it.
@[lilliana]