[private] i feel a bad moon rising | aten

[Lepis]

lepis, comtesse of taiga RUN AND TELL ALL OF THE ANGELS; THIS COULD TAKE ALL NIGHT i think i need a devil to help me get things right Fresh snow, fallen overnight, powders the forest floor, and Lepis’ hooves make fresh marks in the untouched snow. She had watched this snow fall. Sleep had not taken her last night, and though her eyes burn with lack of it, there is a determined set to both her mouth and shoulders that suggest she will not be resting anytime soon. Not when there are things to do, and changes to make. Castile’s command had been a clear one, and it is without a doubt the easiest way to quickly extract herself from Taiga with minimal fuss. Yet easy might not mean best, and the dun mare has fretted since their conversation, and fretted through the night. Finding Pteron is easy – when he stays night in Taiga he can be found in his aerial nest, a hundred feet up a redwood. A well-placed kick sends a thunk up the tree, and a pair of giggling voices go suddenly silent. Pteron’s head emerges, and he peers down at his mother peevishly, at least until he sees the expression on her face. Then, he is at her side in a moment, and Lepis does not spare a glance for whomever might have been up there with him. They’d gotten into the tree, and so she assumes they can get themselves out as well. A few words of greeting pass between them, a few inquiries as to his nest-mate that he deflects in a way that makes her diplomat heart proud, and then they are on to the meat of the business. What she has to say leaves Pteron visually stunned, but she bids him farewell, and moves on to the second horse she intends to speak with. She finds herself in the meadow where Lepis knows that Aten can often be found. And yes, there he is, and she is sure the golden bird is not too far away. The Comtesse nods a brief greeting and a quick smile, but soon begins. “Aten,” She says, her blue-grey gaze flicking toward him. “Castile of Loess, speaking as Taiga’s king, has directed me to place Pteron as leader of Taiga while I return to Loess.” The words are delivered calmly, but she does not smile. Instead, her cool eyes rest remain still. “But Aten, you are my heir, and to follow his order is to break my word to you.” A mild frown creases her face at the last; as though the thought is unpleasant, the tension difficult to handle. Her gaze is steady when she meets the champagne stallion’s, and when she tells him: “You have lived in Taiga under my reign for almost three years.” That is no insignificant span of time, she thinks – it is more than half of Pteron’s life, and nearly a quarter of her own. “Pteron has lived here that time as well.” Aten is aware of this, she knows, but means to underscore that her time knowing each of them as Taigans is identical. “I do not want to lose the close ties between Loess and Taiga that we have fostered in that time, and yet I admit that I am still not sure which monarch you truly serve. If I keep my word to you, and defy my king to do so, I would need to be absolutely certain that he is your king as well.” Though she has asked no question, Lepis pauses, searching the golden stallion for a reaction before she finally says: “And so I must know, before I make this decision: do you serve Heartfire’s Taiga, or do you serve Castile’s?” The first answer would make things easy. She could do as Castile has ordered: set Pteron as Leader of the Woods and keep Aten in his place as Protector. The second would be more difficult, laden as it is by the distrust and suspicion, she knows that the Protector still carries in his heart. Can she even trust him to answer truthfully, she wonders? @[Aten]

[Aten]

Even without verbal words spoken between the two of them, Aten could practically hear the hunger knawing at Kalil's belly, the weanling foal having decided to accompany his sire during his daily investigation of the meadow. Lethia herself was not nearby at the moment, watching over Poppy, Owin, and Orion, while Kalil had asked to spend time with his sire.

Aten had a suspicion that the colt wanted to be around him more since Poppy and Owin had a tendency to leave him out of their games, since the colt could have trouble keeping up with the older foals. He was getting stronger and faster by the day, of course, but that didn't mean his mental state grew with the same speed. He was still young, and wanted to play with his siblings. He couldn't help it that he couldn't keep up with them all the time yet.

Even though Kalil also still drank his dam's milk, the colt also appreciated knowing at grass, which he'd started doing around three moons. During winter, however, food was very scarce, and Aten had a hard enough time finding food for himself and Lethia back when it had been just the two of them, and then Poppy and Owin.

But of course he would work to find his colt some food. So, on that chilled winter day, with a fresh layer of snow on the ground, some of the flakes still peppered on Aten's back, the stallion pawed at the snow with his front hoof to get at the grass underneath. Every so often, he would find a small patch, and encourage Kalil to eat, the colt nickering happily before munching on the grass.

This would continue for some time before they were approached by Lepis. Kalil was now laying on the ground, his legs curled up under him, resting at Aten's side, as the stallion slowly chewed on a new patch of grass he uncovered. Turul was not currently with them, but Amica was curled up on the weanling's back, happy to share in their warmth.

Aten's ear turned when he heard the sound of another approaching, the snow scraping against the fresh layer as it was pushed aside to make way for the new arrival. He looked up, seeing Lepis on the approach, and already a negative feeling began forming in the pit of his gut.

Before she could say anything, the stallion turned his head and nudged Kalil's shoulder with his muzzle to stir the colt from his nap. Whickering as he woke up, Aten nudged the colt to hustle to his hooves, helping him gain his balance as in his hurry the colt was wobbly while still drowsy. Amica hissed at seeing Lepis approach, not fond of the mare, and the stallion started pushing Kalil to head for the trees.

Kalil wasn't happy to leave his sire's side, not without his dam nearby, but knowing where she was, and that he had Amica, the colt departed for the trees. Aten reached out to Turul and asked him to find Lethia and lead Kalil to her, letting the raptor know the path the colt would be taking so he could spot him later.

With his son out of danger, Aten moved to face Lepis, stepping away from the grass patch he'd been eating in a way to block Kalil from her sight so he made it clear her focus was to be on him since that was obviously what she came here for. He could tell in the way she walked, how she carried herself; she obviously had an important matter to speak of.

Lepis greeted Aten with a nod and small smile, but Aten did not return her show of greeting. He wanted to get right down to business, wanting to know what drove the mare out to meet him today.

As soon as she mentioned Castile's name, the stallion's blood boiled, but he contained himself for the time. Lepis' words were delivered calmly, but little did she know the more she said, the angrier Aten was getting. By the time she began speaking of the ties between Loess and Taiga, how she does not wish to lose them, the nature inside the stallion had sparked, causing his body temperature to rise and the snowflakes on his back to melt from the heat he was now starting to give off.

A foal... a foal of nothing but several seasons... would be placed as the ruler... and she did what Aten suspected all along...

She chickened out... she broke her word...

But what do words mean among comrades, if they were suspected of breaking them in the first place?

Lepis said she would defy her king to keep her word to Aten... if that was not a lie, Aten was a mare.

The stallion let out a breath, frost forming around his muzzle, but if Lepis had been any closer, she would've felt the heat in that cloud, a hint at the nature that now stirred in his blood. His eyes were close to shifting, his golden coat shimmering, but he held it in. Not enough change was instigated that Lepis could see it, and the heat in the frost cloud could just be mistaken for his breath.

He would not let her know of his gift now... not until she deserved it...

"Lepis, I believe we both know you would not defy Castile. I do not know your full history, and frankly, I do not wish to, for unless it is a threat to Taiga and my loved ones, your story is none of my business.

"Whatever instigated this power struggle between Nerine and Loess concerning Taiga, I had feared the day it would come. Seeing horses at each other's throats, making threats about drawing blood all for acquiring a source of power, a land that was wished to be a neutral place for horses to come for sanctuary. I had hoped to prove my own word to a friend who entrusted me with that responsibility, and not only did you uproot it from under me by forcing my hoof, you have now placed the forest in a dangerous position, and Nerine and the Isle as well. They will not do well without Taiga's support, and Heartfire will not submit to Castile's grab due to not only her own pride, but for a desire to spare innocent residents from whatever plans you have made with him that involved you and Wolfbane storming in.

"Heartfire made an argument moons ago, to hopefully see me as Taiga's ruler one day so that not only could I uphold the alliance and help give Nerine support, but to continue my wish and see Taiga as a land others could call home without threat of war. She is not without her flaws, but Castile has not made a compelling enough image for me that I would dare call him any king of my own.

"You say he speaks as Taiga's king? A king would not bring bystanders into a power struggle as he has, and you allowed him to do so without the consult of any other horse. You would put a foal in charge of the Forest? He will be a mere puppet; Castile will be the true leader, Pteron is merely a front. He may have knowledge, whatever you taught him, but he lacks experience.

"I will not abandon Taiga, however," he continued in a calmer tone now, trying to cease the fire, "It is my home, and I made promises I intend to keep. I stand by Heartfire as a friend, and will give her the support that she needs to help keep Nerine safe too. But if Castile is the one who holds power behind Taiga's forests, I cannot call Heartfire my Queen. I never have, and never will. To me, she has always been a friend and nothing more. A title doesn't change that.

"What I have heard about Castile could perhaps be proven wrong, but until he gives me a good reason to believe that Taiga is truly in better hooves while under Loess' leadership, and until I see you grow a backbone again," it was a cheap shot, he knew, but he kept going, "I will not serve him either. I will serve Taiga itself, whoever is in charge, to keep it and my loved ones safe, but never will I use the titles of leadership until some horse truly worthy is here."

@[Lepis]

[Lepis]

the rain that falls upon your skin it's closer than my hands have been It has taken courage for Lepis to reveal her indecision, to lay out the options she faces in front of Taiga’s protector and let him see them. Her husband’s words, echoing in her ears, had been encouragement to do so; a reminder that this world does not belong solely to her. (That it should, she would still argue, but it does not, at least not now, not yet.) So she had let Aten in, pulled him aside rather than letting him learn of the change in a territory meeting, opened herself to the idea that he might make her choice easier. She had let herself think perhaps these three years when she’d done exactly what she’d promised (helped Taiga grow, built friendships with other lands, encouraged peace between them) would have some meaning. The Comtesse has lowered her internal defenses to share this – what she sees as weakness – with Aten. And he throws it in her face. He tells her that she will not defy Castile, and that he does not care to hear her story. (A brief memory, him asking about her history less than a year ago, of sharing with him what she has only ever told her husband, flits across her mind. Hypocrite – she thinks. Aten had asked because it had been self-serving, or perhaps because he’d wanted to know their weaknesses, and she had been fool enough to show him.) That is not all he has to say, it seems. Not by a long shot. He speaks of horses making threats (had he learned of her conversation with Heartfire then, of when his beloved queen had threatened Lepis? That is the only threat she’s heard). There is no time to respond to everything he says; there is simply too much. Once again, he accuses her of taking away his ability to protect Taiga. Are they not living in the same Taiga, she wonders? This place is exactly as it had been under his rule – only it is larger. It is better, it is more well-connected, it is stronger. He is concerned about the Icicle Isle and Nerine, as though the two lands will spontaneously collapse with a change in allegiance. Heartfire has been here, Aten tells her, undermining Lepis’ power. That such a meeting had happened does not surprise the dun mare; she’d have been more alarmed had the Nerinian not found a way to go behind her back. Aten continues to insult Castile, Lepis’ decisions, even Pteron. Has he forgotten every conversation they had had, Lepis suddenly wonders, or just the ones with facts that are inconvenient for his position in this argument? Lepis herself has told him of her own reluctance to place a child as a leader. (That Pteron is 6 now, and most certainly an adult by any reasonable measurement is something Lepis ignores for his relation to her, and Aten for its clash with his argument). Then his tone grows calmer. A cease fire, he thinks, as though it has not been his continuous and uninterrupted assault on a woman who offered no defense. Lepis had never thought he might leave the Taiga, and what he means to assure her by repeating this escapes her. They had known he would stay, that he would protect Taiga with his last breath. Does he truly think she would have given him the title of Protector – let alone of her Champion? – if she had even the slightest doubt in his pledge to keep his home safe? Lepis has given him exactly what he keeps telling her she has taken from him, and yet he still accuses her of putting Taiga in danger. ‘Until I see you grow a backbone again’, he says, and Lepis releases the breath she had not known she was holding. During his tirade – for that is sure what it had been – she has been quiet. Quiet and still, with no expression on her face save quiet attention. Aten throws accusations, insults, baseless lies, and false assumption, and Lepis lets him do so without interruption. Only after he has finished speaking, ending with what he might think is a noble claim, does she finally respond. “Where is this looming danger?” She asks him, her voice cool, steeled, the question rhetorical. The vice grip she has on her emotions makes it so, but there is enough to color her expression, to flash in her blue grey eyes as she speaks again. “The only threat Taiga faces is Heartfire. She has promised destruction, and I have kept Taiga from it. I have done exactly as I promised when I came to Taiga in spite of your efforts to derail that -” His backchannel conversation with Heartfire, the relationship with Island Resort that she had to mend herself, “- and yet nothing is good enough for you. Taiga is larger and stronger than it has been since its rebirth, and yet you wish me to act as though I fear a danger that only exists in your mind.” She scoffs; she cannot help herself, and takes a step back. “Castile said you could not be trusted,” Lepis tells Aten, and she reigns in her emotion once more. “But I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.” That’s why she’d sought him out today, to ask him one final time for his loyalties. Does he really think that she’d have even mentioned disobeying her King if it was not something she was truly considering? And to Aten, whom she is now even less sure will not use this against her? If he’d just answered: Castile’s Taiga, everything would have been simpler. She could have done as her King commanded, appointed Pteron leader…and also Aten. Two rulers, one with experience and one with ties to the forest deeper even than the roots of its trees. She could have made her own choice, rather than be backed into a corner without one. Lepis sighs, and while there had been a rapid flurry of emotions during this conversation, the one that emanates from her blue-grey eyes now at the end is disappointment. She has taken the path that Wolfbane wanted, and like every part of her life that the striped stallion has touched: this too has crumbled. “That was my mistake.” She finally says, the rare admission spoken as she turns to go. There are other things to be done now, other preparation to make. @[Aten] lepis, comtesse of taiga queen of loess | queen of sylva | queen of the south lover of wolfbane | mother of pteron, marni, tiercal, eyas, gale, celina, and elio

[Aten]

"Looming danger? Taiga is caught in a power struggle between two pride-filled creatures and you don't think that will cause a catastrophe?" Aten managed to get out before Lepis could say anything else. But the mare would continue, speaking of Heartfire.

"From what I understand, it went both ways. Heartfire may have made a mistake in threatening Taiga's wellbeing, but I am sure that a threat against Taiga from Castile or a party involved with him was made in exchange. And I never said that you didn't do any good at all for Taiga. When I first inherited the leadership, yes, I struggled to build it up, but you had the advantage of time on your hooves. I had barely a full cycle of seasons to try myself. I will not lie and say you had Taiga heading downhill since you took over, because that is not true. But look at where it is now. All because a king wants more land and refuses to acknowledge the state it might leave another land in."

He watches as she takes a step back, and then she goes on. She talked about how she gave him the benefit of the doubt despite Castile's words, and Aten held back his scoff. He spoke up again himself as Lepis began turning to leave.

"Of course he would say that, because you know as well as I do that he trusts me about as far as he can throw me," despite his negative feelings, he did not spit it out like his mind told him to, "It would've put things in a difficult situation, because Castile might've been upset with you for giving me a leadership position, you would've been between a rock and a hard place, Heartfire might try to use my position to get Taiga back, and Pteron might not like having a mouth whispering over his shoulder that isn't one of his parents."

Aten hoped that Lepis wouldn't take that with a grain of salt. It was what he thought though; if what Lepis said was true, that Castile didn't trust him, Aten didn't want to be a leader, or co-leader, or anything, if the stallion had the final say. In his mind, even considered a leader, Castile probably wouldn't listen to a word Aten had to say. And Pteron might be a grown stallion now, but with Castile in charge, he wouldn't be... no, he'd be a leader, but with Castile over his shoulder too.

Even as Lepis wanted to turn away, Aten continued on, "Lepis, I won't apologize. Castile says I can't be trusted, then fine, that's his own opinion. If he found out I was in a position of leadership, who knows what he'd do? If he found out you had anything to do with it, what would that mean for you? Castile was the one who chose to move in on Taiga just as you and Wolfbane did, but I at least had the hope that you two would take care of it and not put it and it's residents in the predicament it's in now. I fulfilled my end of the bargain, I never made a move to take Taiga back. I had hope for you and Wolfbane as leaders, even your foals. And even to be put as it's leader when you made me your heir. But Castile won't take that, not the way he feels about me before we've even had the chance to talk.

"Wherever this situation goes, I will prepare for it to keep Taiga and my loved ones safe. I only wish Taiga herself wasn't caught in the middle."

@[Lepis] this didn't quite go the way I expected, but then again almost nothing on this site does XD

Aten mainly said what he did since he knows Castile won't trust him, whether Lepis puts him in a position of leadership alongside Pteron or not. And if anything in the future, I'd like for Aten and Lepis to get back on civil speaking ground, if not being considered friends. I really like Lepis' character and Aten does have respect for her.

[Lepis]

the rain that falls upon your skin it's closer than my hands have been Lepis pauses in her turn, looks back over her shoulder as the champagne stallion speaks of what he understands, of the danger that he sees. Her golden face creases into a frown, the myriad of dun lines on her forehead wrinkling even deeper. The danger he sees is Castile wanting more land? Truly? “Aten,” she says, and her voice is quiet, very quiet, just loud enough to be heard over the low whisper of the springtime wind. “Listen to me. Really listen, please, and don’t talk.” She turns as she speaks, until she faces him again. Her breathing is metered, her blue-eyes still once they settle on his brown gaze. “There was no ’both ways’. When I spoke to Heartfire, it was to tell her exactly what I told you before I left. I asked for the position of kingdom in the North, and barring that, for our freedom from her rule.” The Comtesse pauses, eyebrows raised slightly, searching his gaze for a sign of recognition of this subject that they had spoken of in depth. Aten had not approved of it, but Lepis had not cared. It was what she was going to do, regardless of who might stop her. “Her response was to threaten me with destruction, and later to visit Castile.” The way her mouth twists around the word visit makes it clearly sour; she considers the visit to have been as much a threat as the promise of destruction Heartfire had for Lepis herself. “Heartfire is the only danger we face, Heartfire and her determination to keep Taiga under her thumb and her crown on her head.” “As for Castile…” Here she trails off, her gaze drifting south, as though she might see the Loessian hills through the fog and trees of Taiga. “I dare say I know the man who raised me, and know him rather well. There is a reason I want to ally Taiga with him; he did not ‘move in’ on us. This is what I wanted.” Or at least, she had thought that it was. She is no longer so sure, but there are some plans that – once set in motion – are all but impossible to stop. lepis, comtesse of taiga queen of loess | queen of sylva | queen of the south lover of wolfbane | mother of pteron, marni, tiercal, eyas, gale, celina, and elio

haha it didn't go the way Lepis thought it would either! i honestly have no plan and am just going by what happens IC. she's not necessarily even mad at Aten either, so i think they could deff be friends in the future!

[Aten]

Even though the mare had made to leave, Aten's words seemed to have some effect, for she stopped and glanced back over her shoulder to see Aten. She speaks to him in a low voice, barely audible over the wind, and Aten felt compelled to listen as the mare had instructed him.

Before she says a word, she turns to face him, a show of respect among their kind, surprising Ten slightly since he figured even if she was willing to talk to him, she was still sour towards his behavior. Her eyes settled on his, and Aten watched her, his ears forward to listen to what she had to say.

He was surprised, but Aten knew how prideful the northern Queen could be. The fact that she'd journeyed to speak to Castile wasn't a huge surprise, but was that really how she had handled the situation? He didn't want to believe Lepis, but could he truly doubt her too? He wasn't there that day, and neither were his eyes in the sky. Who knew if the Comtesse was telling the truth?

She said she had a reason for this plan, and he wanted to know.

Was there harm in asking?

Only when Lepis was done did Aten work up the nerve to speak, "Then what is the reason, Lepis? Not enough trust seems to exist between us yet that I was aware of all this in the first place. You know my loyalty lies with Taiga, no matter who sits in the position of leadership. Whether you trust me as an ally, a friend, or nothing more than a comrade, perhaps it is still enough that you will tel me so that you can help me understand.

"I don't know what you are thinking, or Castile, or Heartfire, or any horse. I can't claim to, so I need help understanding what made you choose to do what you did. And why would you trust me enough to place me as a 'leader' as you said earlier? You know Castile won't trust me, so why would you make this choice when Castile won't like it?"

@[Lepis]

[Lepis]

the rain that falls upon your skin it's closer than my hands have been Genuine display of emotion had once been a rare thing for the dun pegasus. Lepis had learned control at a young age – too young, perhaps – and most every expression that flits across her face in adulthood is as much a mask as the collected politeness it reveals. There were exceptions (when she was tired, when she faced insufferable fools, when she or her loved ones were in danger), but it feels as if the entire last year has been one exception after another. First Bane, vanished into the fog of Taiga for nigh on six months. Then Heartfire’s threat, followed by raising their youngest son alone. And most recently Wolfbane’s return, their subsequent argument, the realization that he has been unfaithful. Worse, that it has been with a woman she’d thought might be a friend, and worse still that the cause of this is the curse that has afflicted his family for generations. And very worst of all, that niggling fear that perhaps it was not all the curse after all, and that what had passed between them was truly Wolfbane and not the cursed creature he has  become. Lepis has experienced so many emotions in the span of the last few months that her grip on them grows tenuous. So when she faces Aten with a frown but without anger, the mild frustration that shows on her golden face is a reflection of what she truly feels. Her patience is vast, and for all that Aten has relentlessly questioned her every move, she cannot say that she would not do the same if a stranger were ever to take the reins of Loess. “I will not bow my head to Heartfire.” She says simply. Perhaps the simple answer will not be enough, but that at least is something, at least it is the truth. “And for the same reason, I do not bow to Castile. I respect him, but I have no master, and Taiga no mistress but me.” Aten has made the same assumption that they all do, that she will meekly follow the rule of whomever Taiga allies itself to. Of late, she has begun to consider setting Taiga apart from them all, but Castile’s offer has thrown an unexpected wrench in those plans, as has the rather spectacular explosion of her personal life. Lepis sighs, and glances once more over her shoulder to where she had been heading a moment earlier. She is clearly eager to leave, but speaks again before she does. “Whatever trust there is between us, I hope it is enough that you do not doubt I act in Taiga’s best interest.” What those acts might be, even she is not certain yet. The dun mare presses her wings a bit more tightly to her sides as she tuns to leave, but pauses and glances once over her shoulder. “One last thing. If you see my former husband, I’d suggest steering clear. Wolfbane is not himself of late.” And then she is gone, slipping into the fog and the unknown. lepis, comtesse of taiga queen of loess | queen of sylva | queen of the south lover of wolfbane | mother of pteron, marni, tiercal, eyas, gale, celina, and elio