"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
it's not by bone but yet by blade can break the magic that the devil made
It felt like it'd been a while since he'd seen Lilitha and her girl, so he chose today to pay a visit. The faded pink dawn was still sleepy, clinging to the sky with a crisp chill in the air. He didn't think she'd mind that he showed this early. Likely, she was already awake and watching her daughter sleep in a little longer. He'd nearly done the same with his own children, but there was business to attend to.
Call it habit, or just a developed part of his nature. It seemed to be built in, ingrained into his way of life, his wolven manner of existing.
"Lilitha," he greeted quietly, his grey-marked figure settling silently into the familiar shadows of his home. With an inaudible breath, he watched over her from nearby, his bright blue eyes penetrating the darkness like the yellow eyes of a night prowler. They were just as sharp, too, just as alert, but he wasn't a hunter today. Not yet.
"Do you rest well?" She was growing into motherhood, too soon if he were to say. Still young and vibrant, she should be living her life untethered to a child completely dependent on her. He would've preferred she not hold those grave responsibilities so early in life. An orphan, though. He could understand considering the many he'd taken in as well.
He'd been married then, though, and brought them all into a family full of love.
For a while.
The edges of his eyes darkened, trained on her and waiting patiently.
and it's not by fire but what's forged in flame can drown the sorrows of a huntsman's pain
He was right. Of course he was right, it had been utterly naive of her to think anything involving the fairies would be simple and straightforward. And because he was right, they had a conversation that needed to take place. One about what exactly they were going to do now. She put it off a moment longer, under the guise of letting her daughter sleep in for a bit, watching her so peaceful and relaxed when peace was so hard-won in waking life.
As Singe had learned far too young.
She barely heard his approach, but it was a quiet morning and even his near-silent feet were just enough to have one ear flicking his way even before he murmured her name. “Well enough, Ruan, thank you for asking. And Singe even better, which feels more important these days.” The girl felt safe enough to let her guard down, and not just because she was too exhausted to keep weary green eyes open anymore. “And yourself? How are you and your little ones?”
it's not by bone but yet by blade can break the magic that the devil made
”Well enough, Ruan, thank you for asking. And Singe even better, which feels more important these days.”
He nodded. The health and emotional well-being of their children would always be their focus, the two of them. He appreciated that about her and was glad to have the chance to see it emerge in her. His eyes looked over the small girl tucked in safely against her side, still resting peacefully. Even asleep, she did appear to be more relaxed, more at home with Lilitha and the Taiga.
”And yourself? How are you and your little ones?”
He stepped closer and gently lowered himself to the ground close by to settle in with them, stay awhile and enjoy her company. They never seemed to catch time together. Hopefully that would change now that the lands were settling. The plague was still a threat knocking at their door and he wasn’t sure how to protect them from it, not that anyone really could, but he’d do what he could. He’d find a way to help.
“Aten has returned. He’s like a son to me and has always helped me in anything the Taiga has needed. I’m sure he’d help if you’d like.” Before the attacks, Ruan had hoped to groom him to take over the care of the Taigans. Then the danger came and he would not let it fall on his only son in the very start of his leadership. He didn’t want to press her to ask Aten for help if she didn’t feel comfortable with it and instead continued.
“Jinju helps as much as she can. She’s going through a lot, but has remained in Taiga. Polaris is resting with Rian now or she’d be glued to my side,” he added with a soft smile of amusement. He wished he could teach her independence as he had with Jinju, but this one just kept coming back. She was quiet but so fierce, adamant that she belonged exactly where she placed herself and he found it hard to argue with her beautiful determination. “Rian is struggling, but I hope he’ll improve over time. It seems to help when he and Singe get some time together.”
and it's not by fire but what's forged in flame can drown the sorrows of a huntsman's pain
I watch the city burn, these dreams like ashes float away...
Ruan settled in nearby, and Lilitha smiled softly, ducked her head to fuss over little Singe for a moment as a comfortable warmth washed over her. She brushed the girl’s forelock off her face, pressed a soft little kiss to her forehead, and glanced up at Ruan again as he went on, talking about Aten and how well he’d served Taiga. She nodded, taking his advice to heart. “I’ll keep that in mind, thank you.” Perhaps she’d seek him out, have a talk, see what his interest and involvement with Taiga looked like in person, see how he might be able or inclined to help.
Jinju she remembered, though she hadn’t seen the other girl in quite some time. Woman. She supposed Jinju had grown up too, though it was strange to think of the sweet young girl as aging in their absence from one another. “I hope she’s well. I’d like to see her again sometime, it’s been...quite a while.” They’d been friends once, maybe still were. All Lilitha’s friends seemed to drift in and out of her life at a whim, but wasn’t that the case with everyone? She was her own only constant companion, and perhaps that was...just life.
She smiled at his comment about Polaris, who seemed to be his constant companion, glued to his side as he’d said. “Singe does love her time with little Rian,” she agreed, “and it seems to help the both of them. I’ve never seen so much smiling from her as when she’s spent time with him, and it’s so good to see her let go and play. I’m glad it helps him too.”
One more soft little kiss to her girl’s forehead, and she sighed and glanced Ruan’s way. “You were right, it seems. I shouldn’t be surprised. Never trust a fairy, certainly not for something so big. I did like your idea of going to the Mountain to take the issue up with the fairies themselves. Last time I tried that, though, I got myself banished from Taiga for three years. And that was before I’d learned to hate them. I’m not entirely confident in my ability to keep my temper, nor in my ability to beg. What are your thoughts about the situation?”
it's not by bone but yet by blade can break the magic that the devil made
He watched her fuss over her little girl, old memories pinching at his wounded heart. With careful precision he gently set aside thoughts of a grey woman, her vibrant eyes and bold personality. And the family they made. So long ago, now. Curse his goddamn faithful heart. And curse the lack of it in hers.
He swallowed and nodded solemnly. Jinju was well. She was near, as always, doing everything she could to help. "She's not far," he offered aloud, "just keeping busy. It helps her get through everything."
Then it was down to business, a topic they both knew they needed to face sooner rather than later. He'd help in whatever ways he could.
He listened.. then turned his head to the side to think. He would prefer they go to the fairies, but he could see as the leader and having bad experiences with them in the past, it may not be as wise an option as they previously had hoped. The fairies had proven themselves time and time again to be traitorous, thoughtless creatures without a care for the people in Beqanna save for how they might be able to play them as pawns.
Maybe they weren't all that way, but the benevolent ones at least seemed outnumbered by the apathetic ones. Why else would the innocent have been so forsaken by them? Selfish and cruel.
He chose not to share his opinions on them. Hate only bred more hate and he wouldn't feed it. "It no longer seems the wisest option," he agreed quietly with heavy regret. In a better world, there would be more logical reason to be found. But not here. No longer.
He took a deep breath and sighed it out slowly, gave a little shrug. "The Taiga before, as you know, was run far different from what seems to be the ingrained default tradition. To the rest of the world, I was King." The word still sat so foreign on his tongue and he grimaced. He'd never introduced himself as such and he'd corrected those that had assumed it of his position. "But to those that truly mattered, the Taigans, the Loyal Ones, I was only Ruan. Their servant with the loudest voice."
If anything bad befell them, it was on him. If they wanted any kind of change, he made it happen. Every mistake was his fault, and every success belonged to the Taigans as a whole.
"This was after Reagan left, of course," he said even quieter. "You can choose to continue as I had, or however you want. How she chose it, we were not King and Queen as Romek had originally had things, but we were Alphas of a pack." He shrugged again. "It didn't suit me or what I felt like the Taiga stood for. There is just as much strength, if not more so, for a land to be run with a servant of the people rather than a King or Queen. Titles mean nothing.
"Actions are everything."
Even the word servant probably leads one to think of them as weak, but they would be so gravely mistaken. The Taiga was a unit, held a stronger, tighter bond with each other than any other land could've boasted. Or the majority of them. Clearly, not every last Taigan had been capable of the equal loyalty and integrity as they held themselves and each other to. A personal fault in the truly weak.
They would've been chewed up and spit out had the Taigans been given the chance to take care of the problem themselves. In that light, perhaps the fairies had been merciful to a select few. The only ones undeserving of it.
and it's not by fire but what's forged in flame can drown the sorrows of a huntsman's pain
Lilitha listened carefully, sky blue eyes focused on Ruan as he spoke of the past, told her far more about the way the past leaders had run Taiga than she’d ever had a chance to learn before. All she’d had was brief comments from Romek, and the little she’d observed of him before the fairies had banished her from Taiga as a child. Most of what Ruan had to say was news to her, and she took a moment to consider it all before responding.
“I’m not much of an alpha,” she replied with a hint of a smile. “I don’t think there’s much wolf in me, though the sentiment of a pack is lovely in its own right. Tight-knit bonds, fierce loyalty, strength. I've never really experienced that kind of closeness, but it sounds beautiful. Still, I don't know that it feels right in my chest, or in my gut. And I’ve never wanted to be anyone’s queen. Servant with a loud voice, though, that I like. I suppose I’d rather considered myself more of a guardian of the forest than anyone’s leader, and the thought of the kind of power implied by any of those other terms leaves me uncomfortable. I don’t have any interest in ruling anyone. I just want to keep this place safe. Or as safe as is possible in the face of the contagion.”
She tilted her head, considering. “I’m not looking to shape Taiga into my own vision of what she should be. I just want to raise my girl in a safe place, and for all the pain and devastation it’s seen, for all the wrath rained down on us by fairies and dark gods alike, Taiga is still home. I don’t really know what I’m doing, though, other than keeping her free from any who would oppress or subdue her, or try and twist her into something dark. Everyone else seems bent on making alliances and talking politics, and I don’t understand any of that at all.”
